


Something about books and their covers

by countrygirlsfun



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known, Anxiety Attacks, Asexuality, College Student Derek, Courtship, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Stiles Stilinski, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mildly Dubious Consent, Misunderstandings, No actual mpreg, Omega Stiles Stilinski, TA Stiles Stilinski, but they talk about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-04-30 08:18:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5156714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countrygirlsfun/pseuds/countrygirlsfun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek decides he's going to court his neighbor. </p><p>Stiles decides he wants to be courted. </p><p> </p><p>The ensuing relationship, while lacking sex, has no shortage of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bistiles (alis)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alis/gifts).



Derek is enjoying the nice weather on campus by eating lunch outside on a bench. This semester he got things organized so he not only has a lunch break between classes but he has over an hour to really enjoy it. He’s just biting into his turkey and avocado sandwich when he smells something…remarkably enticing. It doesn’t take long for Derek to see what the source is either.

His neighbor, the one Derek has tried to ignore his crush on, is walking down the sidewalk surrounded by equal parts heat pheromones and enthralled alphas. It’s the first day that feels like fall and the chilly air has at least six people offering the guy a hat, mittens, scarves and a couple sweatshirts. Derek doesn’t know his name, they’ve only ever nodded at each other in the hallway; but given the supremely uncomfortable look on his face right now, Derek wishes they’d talked at least once so he could help him out. He would hazard a guess that the guy had a midterm this week otherwise he wouldn’t have to be out and about in the middle of his heat week.

When the technology caught up with the Equal Opportunity Education Act, omegas in heat no longer had to put themselves at risk and physically attend class. Unbonded omegas could stay in their dorms or apartments and have access to either live feeds of class lectures or recorded videos. Every classroom on campus is equipped with the recording technology and teachers are required to make the videos available on their class websites.

In the beginning a lot of the old school, backwards thinking alpha professors fought it. They’d “forget” to turn on the recording technology. Or they’d fail to post lecture notes for anyone missing class. Derek wasn’t ever around for it, but his parents were in school when those professors were still able to falsely grade omegas lower than other dynamics in the class. It didn’t matter how smart the person was, at the time, professors could still be as discriminate in their grading as they wanted.

Derek can’t tell definitively but given what his nose is telling him, his neighbor is at least two days into his heat. Not that he has a whole lot of personal experience with omegas and their heats, but he would have expected his neighbor to have locked himself away by now. Given the fact that the guy is walking towards where Derek knows his light blue Jeep is parked he isn’t too worried; he’s getting himself off campus at the very least.

When new semesters start the people living in Derek’s building always shuffle around. Derek first saw this guy carrying an open box of comic books up the staircase to the same floor Derek’s apartment is on. His tall lithe build, unruly brown hair, expressive brown eyes all caught Derek’s attention from the get go.

It’s been a month of class and Derek only has bits and pieces of knowledge about the guy. He lives down the hall from Derek. Drives that death trap of a blue jeep. Parks on the same street off campus that Derek does that doesn’t have 90 minute parking restrictions. He’s a TA in the class Derek had to take to fulfill a forgotten general education requirement. His last name is Stilinski.

And Derek has a crush on him.

He’s got this stupid smile that breaks his face in two. Those damn brown eyes that actually sparkle when he laughs. Long fingers that dance along his thigh or the lectern. A coffee habit to rival Derek’s own. And he’s unbonded. Unattached.

Derek’s ringtone brings him back to the present. He puts down his sandwich and answers the call.

“Der?”

“Hey Laura,” he says on a sigh.

“So this weekend,” she starts but Derek doesn’t hear what comes next because his attention is back on Stilinski. An alpha decided to stop him from walking away, getting in his way and not allowing him to pass by on the sidewalk. He only realizes he’s growling when Laura snaps at him over the phone.

“Derek Samuel Hale. Stop growling and tell me what’s wrong!”

He shakes his head but does stop his growling when Stiles gets away from the pushy alpha. Then he realizes he has to somehow explain what just happened. To his _sister_.

Shit.

“Um, it was nothing?” he tries only to wince when she snorts.

“Yeah, right. Tell me what has your hackles raised.”

“This alpha was getting pushy with an omega that walked past me.”

“And you care because?”

“He lives in my building.”

“Hmmm…”

God, he hates when she makes that sound. Somehow she has always managed to see right through him. Of course when they were younger it was a good thing. It saved their family from disaster because of how Laura was able to read him better than anyone else.

“And?” she prods.

“He’s in heat,” he says through gritted teeth.

“And you have a little crush on his no doubt aromatic pheromones?”

“No! I had a crush on him before I-“

Dammit. How does she always manage to get him to do that? He listens to her laugh at him for a minute before he hangs up. He’s almost finished with his lunch when she calls back. The weekend plans are just about dinner at their parents’ house in Beacon Hills. She doesn’t rib him too much for his admission. It’s been a long time since he’s admitted to himself that he liked someone. And to crush on someone without even knowing their first name has never happened.

She does tell him to go for it. And well, he’s never been one to ignore his sister’s advice.

Now he just needs to come up with a plan to woo his hot neighbor.

Crap.

It’s a special kind of torture for Derek to be just down the hall from his crush while he goes through his heat. The tantalizing hints at Stilinski’s scent have lingered in the hallway and every time Derek leaves his apartment he manages to catch a whiff. As much as his alpha instincts are screaming at him to go see if the omega needs anything, needs taking care of, he knows he can’t.

So instead of letting his primal thoughts control him, he throws himself into the task of getting ready to woo his neighbor. He knows how a lot of people go about this. Offering to take notes in class, carrying books, bringing coffee. Mixed CDs and flowers make their appearances across campus as well. But Derek wants to be different dammit. He does. He just doesn’t know what to do if he takes away all the obvious options.

*

Before he can get himself organized, Derek has to go to a lab with Stilinski and thirty other people from his class. He gets why undergrads need the smaller class setting to have interactions but he really, really hates breakout sessions. This one at least should just be getting their assignments back and a new one to work on. One good thing about these classes though is that Derek could ask for ‘help’ as an excuse to talk with the guy.

He hasn’t reached that level of desperation yet though.

He walks in and takes his spot at a computer in the front, logs in and waits for the rest of the class to settle into their seats. Stilinski comes in after a moment with a flurry of movement, coffee in one hand, papers in the other and his laptop bag sliding off his shoulder. He rushes towards the front table and before Derek can even stand up he has his coffee set down just as the bag falls from his shoulder to his elbow and jerks the arm that had been holding the hot beverage. Derek watches relief cross Stilinski's face and can’t help but grin a little.

“Nice save,” he says quietly but judging by the way the guy's face lights up, he heard Derek anyway.

“Thanks, man.”

Derek nods and focuses on his computer again before he can say something else and make a fool of himself. He gets logged into the class’s website and his email before Stiles is getting the class’s attention.

“Okay, today we’re just going to go over the new assignment after I hand back last week’s. It’s fairly simple but I’ll stay here to answer any questions if someone gets stuck.”

The class all nod their understanding and Stilinski starts handing back the papers he’d been holding when he walked in. It takes a few minutes but by the time he’s back at the front of the classroom, everyone has the new assignment open and Derek’s already started. He kind of tunes out the class around him, wanting to use the time in the lab to just finish the assignment instead of leaving it for later. He’s so focused he doesn’t notice the shift in emotions in the room until it’s too late.

It hits him like a wave as the alpha walks past him towards the front of the class; the anger, embarrassment, and dominance oozing off the guy have Derek snapping his head up to watch what’s going on. He watches the alpha human stand in front of where Stilinski is sitting, typing away on his laptop.

“What is this shit?” the alpha grits out as he tosses his previous assignment at Stilinski so it lands on his computer.

“This is your graded homework assignment,” he replies calmly, holding the packet up and handing it back towards the disgruntled student.

“There’s nothing wrong with it; those are all the right answers,” the guy says through clenched teeth.

Honestly, Derek doesn’t understand why the kid is so upset; it’s a simple assignment that in the grand scheme of their grades isn’t going to matter.

“They’re also the same right answers as the young lady who sits in front of you,” the TA says quietly.

Derek watches the alpha pull himself up and square his shoulders, trying to make himself bigger and more imposing than his anger already made him. Derek has seen omegas _run away_ from such displays of angry dominance more than once. He’s itching to stand up and…he doesn’t know exactly. Defend the guy's honor?

But the omega's spine straightens as he stands without even flinching and stares down the younger man.

“Before you make a mistake like trying to _order_ me to change your grade, remember that I only failed you on a single assignment. I could have failed you for the _course_ given that you haven’t denied cheating on this assignment. You should pick your battles carefully here.”

Derek nearly melts in his seat. His crush is fucking perfect. Smart, strong, zero bullshit tolerance. Derek wishes it hadn’t taken so long to find him. The rest of the class had been perfectly oblivious to what was happening at the front of the room and the alpha slumps in defeat before turning back to his seat. Stilinski looks over the class and Derek smiles at him, hoping it’s encouraging or approving and not creepy. But the TA just shrugs, cheeks turning a faint pink as he sits down and focuses on his laptop again.

Derek turns back to his homework with a smile and a growing plan. He can’t let any more of these classes go by without interacting with Stiles. He can’t let anybody else win the guy's affections before he has the chance to woo the pants off him.

*

Stiles groans as he flops down into his seat next to the lectern where his advisor is setting up for his lecture. He doesn’t have to be here is the dumb thing. He’s not technically required to attend this class when he’s not running the lecture. But at the beginning of the semester his professor had told him that he appreciates his grad student to be present just in case he needs help facilitating the class.

So Stiles comes to every single one. Even when he knows he’s not needed. Today there is no pop quiz, no homework to hand back, he doesn't have to watch for cheaters during a test.

He’s pulling out his MacBook when his stomach rumbles and reminds him just why he doesn’t want to sit through this lecture today of all days.

He forgot his lunch.

Yes, there are places to buy food on campus, but he has had no time to stop and get anything between his classes because they’re so spread out across the campus. This is the last class he has for today though and then he can go home and make a big batch of spaghetti and eat until he’s got a food baby. His professor doesn’t even spare him a glance when his stomach rumbles again but tall, dark, and dreamy in the first row looks over at him.

Stiles tries to give him a friendly smile but he’s not sure how it ends up on his face. The older alpha is Stiles’ neighbor and he’s more than a little intimidating. Those pale eyes, that dark hair and his broad shoulders give him a commanding presence that makes him hard to miss. And the sharp jawline covered in carefully trimmed stubble just adds to the strong, virile, capable alpha role he no doubt personifies. Stiles had almost run into him when he was moving in and since then they’ve passed each other in the hallway exactly 23 times. That’s not to mention that he’s seen the guy in this class every session except for the ones Stiles missed for his heat.

Not that he’s been counting.

He doesn’t know the guy’s name but he knows he’s an alpha. A beautiful, strong, slightly grumpy alpha that Stiles has found himself fascinated with. It took exactly a week of seeing the guy around campus and their apartment building before Stiles started harboring a crush on him. Which is not something Stiles has ever allowed himself to do.

He’s got a master’s degree to finish he doesn’t need an alpha boyfriend distracting him from his goal.

At least, that’s what his dad likes to say.

Stiles wouldn’t mind it if said boyfriend came without any drama whatsoever. If Stiles could somehow just skip the awkward beginnings of navigating a relationship to being in a relationship with someone who understands him would be ideal. He just wants to jump right to cuddles and dinners together. But according to Scott, it doesn’t work like that.

It had been only mildly disappointing that his neighbor hadn’t so much as approached him when Stiles’ heat happened a week ago. He’d kind of expected a big strong alpha like that to come knocking on his door to offer his…services.

Stiles shakes himself.

He’s suddenly glad the guy hadn’t stopped. At least they’ve avoided that awkward question for a little while longer.

No doubt he would have knocked on Stiles’ door and when Stiles answered, smelling like heat and loneliness he would have offered to sex Stiles up and make him feel better. At least, that’s what the alphas had been offering as they followed him from the building his midterm was in all the way to his jeep.

The problem with that is not only were they simply driven by Stiles’ biology and not Stiles himself, but also Stiles doesn’t want someone to sex him up. He just- doesn’t. He knows objectively that he’s not the only person who is like him but most days he feels very singular in his desires. Or rather, the lack thereof.

As if being born an omega wasn’t already a challenge, life had to make him utterly and completely indifferent to sex. He just doesn’t think about people like that.

If anything, sex makes him nervous.

And then to make matters more confusing, his heats aren’t anything like what the biology textbooks teach about either. He doesn’t get really horny, doesn’t have that burning heat of arousal in his gut. Doesn’t have the urge to shove anything up his butt to feel better.

He does, however, sometimes long for the _presence_ of an alpha. Someone who could be there for cuddles, someone Stiles could make happy. For him it’s really just a week of being exceptionally lonely as he sits in his apartment curled up in soft clothes and even softer blankets. His normally voracious appetite is reduced to select things that will agree with his oversensitive stomach. He stocks up on fresh apples and bananas. Steak and chicken that get lightly seasoned and cooked to tender perfection. Fresh juice, eggs, bacon and pancakes for breakfast every morning.

It’s a week where he tries not to feel broken. He came to grips with his asexuality about a year after he presented as an omega. But sometimes, his insecurities raise their ugly heads and it takes him a while to work through it all on his own. If he had an alpha who could reassure him that there's nothing wrong with him, it’s just how his body was made, maybe it wouldn’t take quite as long to dig himself out of the dark place his head goes to.

Stiles snaps out of his thoughts and is brought back the present when a snack bar lands on his keyboard. He looks up quickly and sees his neighbor standing in front of him smiling softly.

“Thought you might be hungry,” he says, his voice a lot softer than Stiles was anticipating.

“Thanks,” Stiles responds with a shy smile of his own.

He grabs the bar and looks up in surprise.

“These are my favorite!”

The alpha’s smile ticks up a notch, genuinely pleased, like he did something right.

“I’m glad. I’m Derek. Hale. Derek Hale.”

He sticks his hand out tentatively but Stiles returns the handshake firmly.

“Stiles.”

Derek quirks an eyebrow and tilts his head slightly as he lets go of Stiles’ hand.

“Stiles Stilinski?”

Stiles tries to control the blush he just knows is staining his cheeks.

“No, Stiles is a nickname I gave myself from Stilinski. My real first name is an unpronounceable monstrosity that only my parents and myself know the particulars of.”

Derek laughs softly and raises his hands as if in surrender.

“I won’t ask again then. Have a good day, Stiles.”

With that he returns to his seat as the class finishes their small group discussions and the professor picks up with his lecture again. Stiles can’t help but smile like an idiot as he nibbles on the snack bar. They're kind of expensive so Stiles mainly saves them as a treat for his heat week or when he passes a test or finishes a semester without giving up.

But it’s still not enough to distract him from stealing a few glances at Derek during the last twenty minutes of class but Derek, Stiles thinks, does the same to him.

*

Everybody goes through a time in their childhood development where they asked a whole lot of questions. Mainly, every little kid will sit and ask ‘why’ until the adult they’re questioning gives up and just answers ‘because’. Most people eventually grow out of it but Stiles never really did. 

He probably stopped asking his mom and dad random questions constantly but he never quite lost that inquisitive spirit. As he grew and reached high school, for a while his questions changed from wondering about the things around him to wondering about himself. Especially when puberty hit and he suddenly had all these extra feelings and sensations to make sense of.  Of course, his high school biology class answered some of his more basic questions but Stiles wasn’t ever satisfied with what the textbooks had to say. 

He spent months researching dynamics and the differences between them before he finally had to force himself to stop for his own mental health.

It took some time to realize what he’d matured into. He was confident he was an omega. But at first it was all very confusing because the books and the doctors and the websites he visited that explained about omegas all mainly talked about their sex drive, in excess. They talked about how omega physiology was structured to not only accommodate a higher sex drive than betas but to attract alphas to help satisfy their needs. All the research told him that twice a year he’d go through a heat that would go much smoother if it was experienced with an alpha. He read article after article about the best way to cope if alone; but mainly they were not so subtly marketing sex toys and the various benefits of one versus the other.

What was weird for him was watching people around him start to mature and how often everyone started letting off pheromones and hormones like crazy as everybody figured out what sexual arousal and attraction was. Everyone that is, except for Stiles. He even researched porn for a short time to see if that made a difference. Initially the sights and sounds garnered a reaction but eventually Stiles’ mind returned to research mode. He watched all sorts of videos, alpha/alpha, alpha/beta, beta/beta, omega/omega, and of course alpha/omega. It was those videos that did the most to freak out Stiles.

The way they always made the alpha a big, hulking mass of muscle and the omegas small, fragile looking things was kind of disturbing. And then it was always so rough and fast and it never looked all that pleasurable. Of course with the initial reaction he had it made him wonder and try and fantasize for himself. But almost as soon as he started thinking about some nameless person touching him like that or doing those things to him his hard on died an uncomfortable death.

That’s where his research had stopped. At the time, he’d felt he knew enough in knowing he was different, that he was even possibly broken.

When his heat came around, that overwhelming urge to fall into bed with a big, strong alpha never came for Stiles.

Sure he got hard and slick and uncomfortable the first day of his very first heat but there was nothing in him crying out for someone to come and ‘fill him up and breed him full’ like what his research told him to expect. After his body settled into his heat everything just became overwhelming. Clothes were too rough, food was too spicy, normal everyday sounds became too loud.

His first and second heats were miserable things where he didn’t understand what was happening, didn’t understand why he had to be different from everyone else. He didn’t talk to anyone about it all, not even his best friend Scott. And when Scott presented as an alpha it was even more difficult for Stiles to try and bring it up. But after his second heat passed and he came back to school looking as lost as he felt, Scott sat him down and forced it out of him.

Not that Scott could force Stiles to do anything, he didn’t pull any alpha ordering around crap. But having Scott as a best friend since forever hadn’t made Stiles immune to his puppy dog eyes. Scott had been so reassuring and comforting that Stiles had spilled his guts about it all.

How nothing about his heat was like what their textbooks said was normal.

How he didn’t feel anything like sexual desires towards alphas even when he wasn’t in heat.

How he had just wanted hugs and someone to sit with him and maybe drag their fingers through his hair like his mom used to when his tummy hurt.

How he feels like something has to be _wrong_ with him to feel this way- to not have those feelings.

 

How nobody is going to want to be with a broken omega.

 

Scott had just dragged him into a solid embrace and held him until his breathing wasn't quite so ragged. He'd murmured in a calming voice about how Stiles had _just_  told him about the spectrum of the dynamics and how some alphas are more beta-like and some are more alpha-like. How some betas have more alpha qualifies than others. How some omegas have milder heats and don't conform to the small frail bodied stereotype. 

He reasoned that it's probably the same thing with levels of sexual desire. It's probably a spectrum from sex repulsed to sex crazy. And just because he's more toward one end of the spectrum instead of the other doesn't mean he's broken, doesn't mean he's unwanted. 

"It's like we learned in class, right? Alphas are wired to satisfy their omegas. I don't think that's just limited to sex, Stiles. I mean obviously sex is one way they do it but there's more to relationships, more to _life_ than just sex."

Stiles had sniffed and pulled his head out from where he'd buried it in Scott's neck to look at him in mock suspicion. 

"When did you get so wise?"

Scott had huffed and thumbed away a tear track on Stiles' cheek. 

"All that time spent listening to you ramble probably had something to do with it."

Stiles had shoved him away playfully, feeling his emotions settle. 

"So you're okay with this?" Stiles had asked then a little timidly. 

"Dude, it's just you. Nothing changes as far as I'm concerned."

Stiles had nodded until Scott pulled him into another long hug. 

 

It figures that since Scott was there for Stiles' first sexuality crisis he'd be there for the second. 

 

He's not actually there because after Scott was bitten by a rogue alpha their senior year of high school he'd had to change his plans for college. As a newly bitten werewolf there were colleges that wouldn't take him and colleges that were better equipped to deal with him.

It's not unusual for teenagers to accept the bite once reaching the age of consent. This led to certain colleges offering more specialized education for newly turned werewolves. The education was the same as anywhere else but the atmosphere of the campus and the required courses that taught about bitten wolf physiology and control made such colleges incredibly popular.  

Stiles had been disappointed he wouldn't get to experience college with his best friend but they've made due. Between Skype and Xbox live and their near constant texting conversations the 100 odd miles between them didn't diminish their friendship at all. 

He's on the phone with Scott telling him about his day when it hits him. 

Derek's been _courting him_. 

"Yo, Stiles? You still there?"

"Yeah..." He responds a little shakily. "I um...you remember I told you about my neighbor who is in the class I TA? How he gave me a snack bar the day I missed lunch? And how he saw my flat tire and got me new tire valve stem caps and a pressure reader? And I told you about the package of pens that I love that were just sitting on my desk last week?"

"Uh, yeah. It's all been from that Derek guy right? The alpha down the hall."

"Right, well he brought me Dayquil and the soft Kleenex today because it's day four of this cold and I'm not getting any better. Is he- am I being courted? Is he _pursuing_ me?" 

"Of course he is!” Scott bursts sounding exasperated. “What did you think was going on? Stiles, have you even given him your number yet? He probably thinks you're being a tease."

"WHAT? But I just figured it out! How was I supposed to know? No one’s ever tried to court me before, Scotty!" Stiles exclaims, arm flailing with his emotions.

Scott sighs and Stiles tries to suppress his annoyance. He should have figured this out a long time ago, is the thing.  But, all his knowledge on what courting looks like mostly comes from cheesy rom coms. The movies where the alpha sees the omega from across the room and does everything they can to win over the omega. Movies always show alphas throwing gifts and money and _things_ at omegas to earn the right to have them.

And that was the another thing that Stiles really hates about alpha/omega pairs in movies and media: the romanticizing of alphas treating omegas like they’re property, like they’re a commodity, something just to have. Stiles hates that. Sexual preferences aside, he doesn’t want someone to want him as a thing, just something to fuck. He wants to be with someone who likes _him_ , not his biology.

But really, he’s never dated anyone, so how would he know what it looks like in real life? Dating required time and effort and opening up to people and Stiles didn’t have time for that. He’s getting a master’s in five years thank you very much and there has been no time to waste on socializing when he had a GPA to maintain. But now, he’s almost done with school. He has free time because his thesis is all but finished. And there’s something about Derek, something that Stiles doesn’t understand. But he wants to.

"The next time you see him, give him your number,” Scott continues while Stiles has a minor internal freak out. “Or get his number and text him something about how much you enjoyed his thoughtfulness."

"Okay," Stiles nods to himself. "I can do that." 

Stiles figures it out over the weekend why Derek seemed familiar when they first saw each other. Or rather, how Stiles already kind of met Derek Hale once when they were kids. 

A couple months after his mom had died Stiles' dad had woken him up in the middle of the night, wrapped him in a blanket, grabbed his pillow and drove them both to the sheriff's station. Stiles remembers getting shuffled to his dad's office and curling up on the couch and falling right back asleep. But Stiles also remembers waking up to an entire family walking into his dad's office some time later. Three adults and six kids came storming in, each one a variation of mad, annoyed and freaked out.

Stiles had been ushered from the room but the next day he found out with the rest of the town that someone had tried to murder the Hale family. It wasn't made public that it had been because they were werewolves. And even Stiles never found out who was responsible. The case was closed as the culprit had been caught and killed by Talia herself. As alpha she was well within her rights to eliminate such a dangerous threat to her pack and family. All Stiles really remembers about Derek from that night is that he was the one who looked equal parts angry and lost.

That and that his ears were too big for his face. 

Their paths never crossed again as they grew up, at least to Stiles' knowledge they didn't. Beacon Hills isn't a sprawling metropolis but it's no Mayberry either. With three high schools, countless after school programs and the fact that he was the omega son of the sheriff all meant Stiles didn't have a lot of places he was allowed to go where he would cross paths with the likes of the Hales. 

Thank God for college. 

Monday he's determined to talk to Derek first and approach the alpha hoping to show that he is indeed interested and hasn't been acting like a tease on purpose. But as he should have expected, Derek beats him to the punch. Stiles is just dumping his bag on his desk in the corner and dropping into his seat when a steaming cup of coffee is gently set down on the desk right under his nose. He lifts his eyes and can't hold back his smile when he sees Derek standing there, a pleased look on his face. 

"You're feeling better," he states and Stiles nods. 

"I am. So... does this coffee come with your phone number or haven't we reached that stage in this courtship?"

"I prefer the term 'wooing,'" Derek says like that isn't completely adorable, "and the coffee can not only come with my number but also a date. Tonight? Pizza place on 6th?"

"A date? Already- you want to date me?" Stiles asks, slightly taken aback even though a date is the obvious next step in this court- this _wooing_.

But Derek just nods with that same small smile.  

"Are you sure? I'm kind of an asshole," he blurts out before his brain can censor it. He feels his cheeks go warm with an embarrassed blush and fights the urge to hide.

"I know, Stiles,” Derek just laughs dismissively; "I saw some of those comments you wrote on my group mates’ papers."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Derek replies with a wry smile, "I still want to take you out to dinner. If you're comfortable with the idea,” he offers, shifting he weight from one foot to the other and sounding slightly hesitant.  

"Comfortable? I'm comfortable. _So_ comfy. Oh man I'm curled up in sweatpants and a fuzzy blanket with this idea in so comfortable with it,” Stiles babbles nervously, he can’t let Derek go without even getting a date first. And what’s up with the alpha being anything less than completely confident in his actions?

"Stiles," Derek interrupts before he can continue his ramble.

"Yes, Derek?" Stiles responds, voice sweet as he bats his eyelashes slightly, bouncing back from nervous to playful.  

"I'll pick you up at 6:30. No sweats," he says sternly and Stiles can’t help it when he responds.

"Yes, sir."

*

Stiles rides the high of endorphins for what feels like the rest of the afternoon. He’s going on a _date._ He’s never been on a date before. Okay he maybe has been on one date but he’s not going to count the time a beta asked him to ice cream in the dining center and then realized halfway through the conversation Stiles’ orientation and then left. Bleh. No. Never been on a date before and that’s what he’s going to keep telling himself.

And now he has a date with Derek Hale. Stiles has never even entertained the idea that he might get to go out with an alpha like him. But like any self-respecting young adult in college, once Stiles had figured out Derek’s possible intentions he’d turned to the internet to get a clearer picture of the man. Wolf. Werewolf.

Whatever.

Between Stiles’ research tendencies and an abundance of knowledge to be had, he quickly was able to piece together a clear picture of Derek Hale from Beacon Hills, California.

Big picture: he is the _epitome_ of all things that are alpha.

He presented as alpha when he was fifteen and showed alpha werewolf tendencies at an even earlier age. (Stiles may or may not have found a #tbt post on Talia Hale’s Instagram proclaiming her ‘widdle DerBear’ as a fierce protector of his pack from squirrel invaders at the tender age of five.) He was named Most Valuable Player not only for his high school’s football team but the baseball team as well. And not just his senior year, oh no, he got the honor three years in a row.

Now he’s a volunteer firefighter with a degree in history under his belt and one in English literature almost completed. Basically, he’s not only the brawn but he has brains. And Stiles discovered, he isn’t a 'C’s get degrees' kind of student either. Derek Hale has been on the Dean’s List since his first semester of college. He never missed even _one_.

It all paints a picture of a very attractive, intelligent, strong, capable alpha that Stiles has had the good fortune to have had caught the attention of.

He kind of bounces through the rest of his day. He sends a text to Scott letting him know of his successful interaction with Derek. To which he gets a single message in response that is entirely smiley emoji’s. After class he goes back to his apartment and cleans the entire place. Dishes are done, laundry sorted, bed made, bathroom clean. He showers and gets dressed in clothes he tells himself of which Lydia would approve.

It’s 6:20pm and Stiles’ phone starts ringing as he’s sitting in his living room waiting for Derek to pick him up. He scrambles for the phone only to see his dad’s picture flashing on the screen at him. He swipes and quickly answers the phone, hating how his voice comes out in a rush.

“Hey, dad,” he greets as he releases the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in.

“Kid, what’s up?” his dad asks pointedly and Stiles knows he has to explain.

“I was thinking someone else was calling me,” he mumbles a little embarrassed.

“And who else would you be expecting to call you at the same time your father calls you every week to catch up?”

Crap. Crap how could he forget this? He was literally so excited he completely forgot that his dad calls him every Monday to catch up on how his previous week had been and what he has on the schedule for the upcoming week. And since they’re so far away from each other and they’re both so busy for the rest of the week, their Monday conversations are never short. How could he have forgotten about this?

There's a pause where he tries to come up with a way to ease into the idea that he’s going out with a person who is still mostly a stranger and on whom his father hasn’t even been able to run a preliminary background check.

He fails.

"I, uh, have a date tonight," Stiles admits.

“Really,” his dad shoots back, tone speculative. “It’s not someone I know, is it?”

It’s phrased as a question but stated as a fact.

“Actually, you might. Do you know Derek Hale?”

“You mean future alpha to the Hale pack that’s based out of Beacon Hills Derek Hale? You’re going on a date with _him_?”

There’s something in his dad’s tone of voice in describing Derek that has a mental image popping up in Stiles’ brain. It’s like a pros and cons list only it’s Derek vs. Stiles and where Derek’s list of coveted attributes is lengthy and extensive all Stiles can see under his name in big block letters is: DOESN’T EVEN LIKE SEX.

Anxiety is an irrational and fickle bitch so it's kind of a surprise that he’s suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and doubt as his deep rooted insecurities start screaming at him. How could he possibly think to try and be an omega with an alpha like _Derek_?

He'd never be a good enough omega for Derek. Sure he's got his bachelors but he's not even done with his masters yet, and he doesn't have any jobs lined up for after graduation either. Stiles would never be able to satisfy Derek's alpha urges and instincts. Derek has probably had a string of omegas at school that happily cater to any of his whims.

Derek’s going to get so bored and discontented by being with him. He can't ever see himself letting Derek fuck him and if they can't have sex they won't have any _kids_. That's probably Derek's biggest dream is keeping his omega barefoot and pregnant and expanding the Hale pack. Stiles can't do that.

He's a disappointment from the start. 

He’s never been one of those omegas that craves and needs an alpha’s attentions and approval to be happy. Not that there’s anything wrong with being like that, Stiles knows plenty of omegas who bounce around from alpha to alpha so they always have someone to give them those things. He gets it, it’s college, that’s how people just are in college.

For his own part though, he’s never really had those intense kinds of interactions with alphas. Sure he still has urges to just do what they say and avoid making them angry with him but only if it’s someone he respects. He doesn’t just drop everything to try and gratify any alpha he encounters. But he is definitely affected by his dad, Scott and most of his professors. For those omegas that crave the attention and approval, not getting those things can easily lead to immediate bad reactions. If there's one way Stiles’ biology really does actively screw him over it’s his reaction to being a disappointment, to not meeting the expectations put forth by his dad or Scott or himself. 

So it's that thought, the thought of letting down his dad, letting down _Derek_ that sends him into a real panic where he doesn't know if he's breathing or not. All he can hear is the blood rushing in his ears. At some point he must have stood up because he's suddenly staring at his door and his dad's voice in his ear has become commanding in his confusion. Stiles hears a distant pounding and an order to open the door; it's about as much as he can do to step forward, reach out a shaky hand and turn the lock. 

*

Derek had been a few minutes early for his date with Stiles; he just had this uneasy feeling in his gut and couldn’t place why. Walking towards Stiles’ door Derek had tried to listen to see if Stiles was ready. Instead of hearing something like Stiles shuffling around in his apartment, Derek heard gasping breaths and a voice coming through a phone. He’d knocked and called out Stiles’ name in question but all that did was ramp up the panicked heartbeat in Derek’s ears. He forced himself to stop pounding on the door and listened to the voice on the phone; he could just make out the voice coming through the speaker commanding Stiles to unlock to door. Derek’s almost surprised at his distress with how long it takes Stiles to shuffle towards the door and flip the lock.

He slips into Stiles’ apartment letting the door swing shut behind him, vision tinted red as he as looks for something to explain Stiles’ rapid, panicked heartbeat. He doesn’t see or hear anything in the apartment other than Stiles though. He watches Stiles’ phone start to slip through his trembling fingers and Derek grabs it. He sees ‘Dad’ on the screen and raises the phone to his ear when he notices the call is still connected.

“Hello?” he asks hesitantly, not liking the glazed, unfocused look on Stiles’ face.

“Derek Hale?” the voice on the phone says, Stiles’ _dad,_ shit.

“Yes sir,” he responds quickly hoping the man doesn’t waste time threatening him bodily harm if he hurts Stiles. He’d really rather hang up and fix whatever has Stiles so upset.

“Okay I don’t know why my son is panicking but I have a suspicion of what’s got him so worked up,” he says hurriedly. “Just, get him to sit down and try and get him to breathe. I’d tell you to hold him but he always reacted differently every time to being touched.”

Could he have been any more vague with those instructions?

“Okay. Okay, thank you, sir.”

Derek hangs up, pockets the phone and tries to figure out the best way to get Stiles over to the couch short of picking him up and carrying him there. He settles for holding Stiles’ hand and leading him back to the couch a few feet away.

“Stiles, I need you to breathe okay?” Derek says, keeping his tone even and as calm as he can manage as they walk. He doesn’t think Stiles is really understanding him but hopefully if Derek projects enough calm Stiles will pick up on it. He spares a brief thought that this would be a lot easier if Stiles was a werewolf. He gets them both seated on the couch before Derek grabs the blanket that’s been thrown over the back of the couch and tucks it around Stiles shoulders.

He’s seen panic attacks before, but they weren’t like this.

“Stiles, I wish I knew what to say here but I’m just going to talk and hope you start to breathe because I don’t know what to do if I can’t hold you. Try and breathe-“

Derek flounders for a moment trying to think of a pet name for him. But, it’s their _first_ date, he doesn’t have any terms of endearment for him yet. He’s uncomfortable calling him ‘omega’ and anything else sounds too romantic for the current situation.

“-Stiles,” he says belatedly, but surprisingly Stiles turns his head towards Derek.

His chest is still heaving as he fails to take in enough oxygen with each breath but his eyes have lost a little of the glazed over look and Derek thinks he’s getting really lucky here. Not like- He didn’t mean- Man, he loses focus around this guy a lot. (He hasn’t had to study lecture notes in his life but Derek hasn’t learned anything from sitting through the class Stiles TA’s.)

He shakes his head at himself, now isn’t the time to be distracted. Not when his date isn’t breathing enough.

“Please, Stiles breathe. In,” Derek takes an over exaggerated breath in and holds it for a few seconds as he watches Stiles try and copy him.

“And out,” he says blowing the air out slowly.

He repeats it watching Stiles’ eyes clear a little more with each deep breath and his chest finally fall into an appropriate rhythm as Stiles’ breathing evens out.

When his shoulders finally sag as the tension leaves his body Stiles ducks his heads and hides his face in his hands. Derek gives him some space and walks to the kitchen in search of a glass of water for him. He wouldn’t want to be crowded after a panic attack and he doesn’t think Stiles does either.

*

Stiles doesn’t know whether it takes Derek that long to maneuver in Stiles’ kitchen or if he was just stalling to give Stiles time to get his head on straight before he comes back to the living room. Either way he appreciates the gesture because he _does_ get his thoughts in order even if he’s still a little worked up. But after a few moments Derek comes back and sits next to Stiles as he places a glass of water on the coffee table for Stiles. Stiles takes the glass and downs half of it, stalling for time before his brain starts blurting things.

“Are we going to talk about what just happened?” Derek asks quietly and Stiles barely represses a sigh.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Stiles admits sadly staring at his hands.

“Do this?” Derek repeats, sounding utterly confused and Stiles nods.

“Yeah, I don’t think I can be…enough.”

“Enough?”

“You know, in, in comparison.”

“Comparison?”

“Are you just going to repeat everything I say?” Stiles asks slightly irritated.

“No,” Derek says hesitantly and when Stiles looks up he’s staring at Stiles speculatively.

“I’m just thinking about your logic, and if I followed the same line, I would admit to having the same doubts.”

Uh, what?

“Huh?” Stiles responds intelligently.

“You’re thinking that in comparison to all these unknown omegas that I’ve been with you wouldn’t match up or be enough in comparison, right?”

Stiles nods unhappily only slightly embarrassed at having Derek voice exactly how Stiles is feeling aloud.

“Well then I’d have to have the same worries right? If we’re basing our assumptions of previous partners on each other’s attractiveness I’d have to worry I wouldn’t match up to any alpha that’s dated you in the past.”

And that- that throws Stiles through a loop because _what?_ His confusion is enough to temper his anxiety.

“What? What other alphas? I’ve never dated anybody!”

Derek’s expression goes from pinched to open in surprise.

“How have you not? You’re beautiful,” he says vehemently only realizing his admission after he’s already blurted it, ears turning pink.

Stiles cheeks heat up in a matching blush; he doesn’t drop his eyes from staring at Derek like he wanted to initially.

“I don’t like sex,” Stiles blurts, while not exactly the whole truth it’s a start.

“I haven’t seriously dated anybody since high school,” Derek counters.

They sit there each taking in the revelation of the other for a moment. Before Stiles can say anything to reassure Derek that it’s okay if he wants to leave, that Stiles won’t hold it against him he hears Derek take a deep breath in and looks over at him. His face is set in determination now and Stiles has no idea what could come out of Derek’s mouth next.

“Let’s go on this date.”

“But-“

“No, hear me out,” Derek interrupts. “We both had some assumptions get proven wrong here and I think if we just went out for dinner and got to know each other this could still work out.”

Stiles just stares at him a mix of shocked and confused.

“You don’t care that I don’t want to sleep with you?”

“No, but to be fair, I don’t want to sleep with you either.”

Before Stiles can feel offended Derek continues.

“I don’t want to sleep with anybody really until I get to know them. I mean, really know them. If we’re going to talk labels I’d probably go with something like demisexual. I need a strong emotional attachment before I have those kinds of desires with a person.”

Stiles is kind of, confused. But if he doesn’t have to worry about sex, apparently for the foreseeable future, maybe he can do this. He realizes after a moment that Derek is waiting for a response.

“Sorry, yes. Let’s go, let’s try.”

The smile Stiles gets in response fills up his chest with this warm fuzzy feeling that he could quickly become addicted to. Derek pulls him from the couch and towards the door. Stiles grabs his wallet and his keys from their spot by the door before leaving his apartment and locking the door behind him.

Derek drives and they’re at the pizza place, seated and waiting for their pizza in what feels like no time at all. It’s weird how not awkward it is despite the rather odd way the evening started. Stiles sends his dad a quick text that he’s alright and out for dinner with Derek. He gets a response moments later that his dad expects a call when he gets in his apartment after this date. Stiles really doesn’t mind the request all that much. After assuring his dad that he’ll call he puts his phone away and focuses on being on his first date.

It’s silly how easy it is to just sit and talk with Derek. They talk about everything it seems, from what they’re doing in school to their hobbies to their passions. But as they sit there and get to know each other even if it is just a cursory introduction, he thinks Derek was right. This could work.

At one point after their pizza is delivered to their table Derek asks Stiles if he wants to elaborate on his feelings towards sex but had backed off when Stiles had blushed and shook his head. He thinks he _could_ talk to Derek about it, is the weird thing, just maybe not in his favorite pizza place. He tells Derek as much and the answering smile was enough for that warm feeling to fill up Stiles’ chest again. He’d had trouble containing his smile when Derek had just reached across the table, put his hand over Stiles’ and said, “maybe next time.”

The fact that Derek was already thinking about a next time, that Stiles’ freak out hadn’t turned him off completely, was such a relief. And if he can talk about his reservations with Derek right away maybe he’ll let himself enjoy being with Derek instead of letting himself feel inadequate. The rest of the meal goes off without a hitch and Stiles is both pleasantly full and buzzing with that satisfied feeling in his chest.

Other than feeling a little mortified that he’d actually had a panic attack Stiles feels really good about the evening. It wouldn’t bother him so much except he’s always figured himself quite a bit tougher than that. He’s panicked about things, sure. But he’s never gotten so worked up over an alpha that wasn’t his dad. Even disappointing Scott doesn’t affect him like that. It was just more than a little embarrassing, but when Derek walked him to his door and awkwardly, sweetly told him not to be so nervous for next time when they go out to a movie, Stiles knows Derek didn’t judge him for his freak out.

*

Suddenly it’s their fifth date and they’re staying in so Derek can cook Stiles supper. When they went to a movie for their second date together Derek had quietly asked Stiles if they could hold hands but since then, neither of them have tried to bring up Stiles’ boundaries with regards to sex.

Stiles hadn’t known what to expect from dating anyone but dating Derek is _fun._ He gets these butterflies in his stomach whenever Derek smiles. And when they were walking around downtown, Stiles had felt so incredibly safe all tucked into Derek’s side under his arm. It was a pleasant surprise as to how interesting it is to just sit and talk with him because Derek is like, incredibly smart and has experienced so much.

So Stiles isn’t all that nervous for their date tonight, but Derek is judging by the tight smile on his face when he opens the door to greet Stiles. Stiles doesn’t know what’s up but he smiles warmly up at Derek hoping to ease some of the tension he can almost feel radiating off the alpha. He thinks it helps a little because Derek’s smile gets a little softer at the corners.

“Hi,” he says quietly and Stiles just grins.

“Hi.”

“Come in, come in!” Derek says as he reaches for Stiles.

Stiles steps forward and leans into Derek’s touches when he wraps his arm around Stiles’ shoulder and guides him through the living room towards the dining room table. He goes with it and sits down as Derek pulls out a chair for him.

“My mom used to make this soup,” Derek says as he walks back towards the stove where there’s a steaming pot that needs attention. Stiles watches Derek flit around the kitchen putting the last touches on the meal.

“When I was growing up, it was my favorite thing she would make in the fall. It always makes me think of family dinners and movies with hot cider. Memories that I look back on and realize how safe I felt, how happy we all were together.”

Derek brings a bowl filled with cheesy garlic toast over to the table before returning to the stove to portion out the soup.

“I remember one time she made this soup, I came home from school a little…well, distraught might be a good word.”

Stiles doesn’t have a clue where this story is going but he gives Derek an encouraging look to continue after he brings the bowls over and sits next to Stiles at the table. He’s more focused on Derek’s words than when he picks up a spoon, scoops up some soup and holds it out towards Stiles.

“My mom knew immediately that something was wrong, something in the pack bonds or how I smelled. Probably both actually,” Derek elaborated with a smile while feeding Stiles another spoonful of soup.

“I was upset because, well, I thought something was wrong with me. Everybody around me had started smelling different. And when I awkwardly asked my best friend Boyd what he was feeling when I smelt it on him, he’d crudely explained arousal. Well, I had never felt like that towards anyone. But once my mom heard everything I had been worrying about she just told me she loved me and there was nothing wrong with not having those feelings. Then she gave me a book to read, brought me a bowl of this soup to eat in my room and left me to figure out on my own what I was experiencing.”

The more Derek talks and the more he hand feeds Stiles, takes care of Stiles, the calmer he seems. Stiles on the other hand is starting to feel that pit of anxiety start to form in his gut. Because Derek is giving Stiles a perfect opportunity to talk about himself and his feelings towards sex without having to bring it up himself.

“The more I read the book she gave me the more I was convinced that I was somewhere on the asexual spectrum. Sex didn’t, doesn’t, repulse me. It’s more of a ‘meh’ feeling. It’s not something I really think about, except sometimes when I had my heats. But knowing there wasn’t anything wrong with me made it easier to deal with.”

“Listening to Boyd wax poetic about Erica Reyes never got easier,” Derek smirks a little and feeds Stiles a bite of garlic toast.

“I started dating my other best friend at the time, a beta named Paige. I was okay telling her about how I didn’t want sex out of our relationship because we’d known each other forever. I already kind of loved her as a friend so at the time, dating was the normal next step. We dated all through high school and when we’d been together for almost three years I realized my feelings or thoughts were changing. One night we were at her house alone, her parents were gone for a long weekend but since they knew in no uncertain terms that we wouldn’t be having sex, they were fine with us being there. Except that, well,” Derek trails off, as if suddenly feeling awkward talking about having sex with his ex-girlfriend.

Stiles tries to give him a reassuring smile, mainly because, if he keeps Derek talking it’s more time he’s not talking himself.

“After it was over I was pretty confused. But Paige was really great about it all. I really didn’t worry about it. I just noticed my feelings towards her had changed and we acted, uh, accordingly.”

Derek trails off again and Stiles realizes not only are the dishes in front of him completely empty but he’s pleasantly full. Derek isn’t looking at him anymore and Stiles prompts him quietly to continue.

“What happened?”

Derek shrugs.

“Graduation, mostly. She got into Julliard and wasn’t going to give that up to stay in California with me. After that I guess I thought I was ready to just put myself out there and be a new person at college. I tried having casual relationships twice before I realized that no matter what my feelings towards sex hadn’t changed like I thought they had. I ended up in a campus counselor’s office one night when it all got to be too much, but he was able to give me another label that was more specific than asexual. After I spent a few, um, tearful hours spilling my guts out he said that from what I’d described he would call me a demisexual. I need a strong emotional bond before I form sexual attraction towards someone. Look, I didn’t tell you this so you felt, I don’t know, obligated to tell me about yourself. I just wanted to-“

“Give me a chance to tell you without having to bring it up myself.”

Derek nods solemnly and Stiles blows out a breath because he has to seize this moment and run with it otherwise who knows if he’d ever get the courage to bring this all up again on his own.

“Well, our stories are kind of the same I guess. The whole going through puberty and realizing something was different. But uh, my heats are different too so that was another layer of confusion for me. At most I get hard and slick for the first day,” Stiles admits blushing, “but after that it’s mostly living with the dial on my senses turned up to eleven. Nobody at my high school wanted to date spastic, annoying, teenage me and once I got to college I’ve been pretty wrapped up in studying. When I look at people I never feel what my best friend describes as a heat curling in your gut. Combine my tendency to stay in and watch Netflix while pretending to study and my habit of mouthing off to pushy alphas and I haven’t ever been in a relationship.”

Derek shakes his head a little.

“I still find it hard to believe no one ever asked you out. From what I’ve seen, you’re not disrespectful you’re just not a pushover. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I guess it just wasn’t easy to open myself up to people knowing how important sex is to sexual people.”

“Sex isn’t the most important part of a relationship.”

“I know, I just. I guess I’m still self-conscious about being different.”

Derek reaches down and squeezes Stiles’ hand.

“There’s nothing wrong with being different, Stiles. With me this part of yourself isn’t something you should worry about. And if things change, if your attitude towards sex changes, for or against, it won’t bother me either. I don’t care if we never have sex or if we do. I guess what I need to know now is what you’re comfortable with.”

Stiles feels something like relief wash over him like a wave at Derek’s sincere words. He takes just a moment to gather his thoughts before he squeezes Derek’s hand tighter in his grip and smiles weakly at him.

“Um, well, hand holding is nice. Hugs are better. Kisses are fine, but not like, making out kinds of kisses. And I may or may not have daydreamed about taking naps with you.”

Derek smiles warmly at him and Stiles feels the last bit of nervousness melt away at Derek’s easy acceptance. It’s like he didn’t have to be alone all this time, maybe if he’d just talked it out with people, he wouldn’t be having his first relationship at 22.

“Nap as in, separate sides of the bed? Or curled up together on the couch?”

“Um, together? Back in high school when I had a whole group of close friends we were all pretty tactile. I miss that being away from my dad and Scott, my best friend. I have zero reservations about cuddling with you.”

“Awesome,” Derek breathes like Stiles just gave him the best answer possible.

Of course, the way Derek leaves the dishes on the table to pull Stiles towards the couch is evidence enough of his excitement. But Stiles is far from complaining when the rest of their date turns into them watching Netflix together, Stiles tucked under Derek’s arm, head resting on Derek’s chest. It feels like a fairy tale, because all of Stiles’ wishes for a relationship have come true.

*

Stiles shuffles his way to his apartment door feeling like his brain has officially stopped working. Finals are over, his papers are all turned in and approved, he officially has nothing to do or work on for the next month. It’s just as well, his brain is practically fried. He needs that time to recover and come back for his last semester and finishing his thesis.

He eventually gets in his apartment, struggling only slightly to get the key in the lock. He drops his backpack by the door after closing it, tosses his keys and his wallet on the island in the kitchen as he walks past, throws his hoodie over the couch and toes his shoes off in the hall. He peels out of his jeans, pulls on some sweats and collapses in his bed.

Before he can fall asleep, Stiles’ phone buzzes with a text message from Derek.

**> >>All finished??**

**< <<Damn right**

And then a moment later he sends:

**< <<Door is unlocked**

Stiles hears a door shut down the hall and smiles into his pillow. It’s moments later he can hear his door open and shut and the sound of his locks turning. He doesn’t normally leave his door unlocked, even when he’s in the apartment, but he knew Derek would want to come over and this way, Stiles doesn’t have to get off the bed.

“You know I hate when you leave your door unlocked,” Derek grouses as he crawls up the bed to lay facing Stiles with a grumpy frown.

Stiles grins, making it as smug as possible in his exhausted state.

“It got you here, in my bed, ready to cuddle.”

Derek grumbles, “I’ll show you cuddling,” and manhandles Stiles around on the bed.

Stiles laughs as he settles on Derek’s chest.

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

Derek settles himself in the pillows up by the headboard and shifts Stiles around until Stiles is laying on top of him, head tucked into his neck. Stiles gets kind of lost in it eventually, his fatigue making him pliant and relaxed. Eventually he goes boneless under Derek’s ministrations. One hand carding gently through his hair, another running up and down his back, his arm, his side.

"Stiles? You asleep?" Derek asks some time later.

Stiles grunts a little. He's not asleep but he's also not really up to talking at the moment. 

"I have something to ask you now that finals are over," Derek says quietly but he doesn't stop petting Stiles as they lay together. 

Stiles wakes up enough to listen closer. Derek doesn't normally preface telling Stiles something by saying he needs to tell Stiles something. 

"I know it's only been a few months of getting to know each other. But we're both going home to Beacon for break and I don't want to never see you while we're there for the next month. I know it's too soon to invite you over for the holiday but I'm going to be staying at my parents and you're gonna be with your dad and I just-"

"We're ready to meet the parents, Derek," Stiles interjects gently. "At least, I'd be okay with you meeting my dad so it's only fair that I meet your family." 

Derek uses the hand in Stiles’ hair to tilt his head back so they’re looking at each other.

"Stiles are you sure? Because we can put it off further if you're not ready for that."

Thing is, Stiles really doesn't know when it's an appropriate time to meet the boyfriend/alpha's parents. But Stiles knows how he feels about Derek, and Scott has listened at length about those feelings and did a lot in convincing Stiles that a lot of what he's experiencing doesn't happen with just anyone. That Stiles isn't blinded by this being his first relationship. 

He thinks he kind of loves Derek already. 

His humor, his smile, the way he holds Stiles tight and safe. He loves how kindhearted Derek is, how gentle despite all appearances to the contrary. And part of what helps Stiles believe it's real, not just some infatuation is that Stiles can see and articulate Derek's flaws. 

He's a procrastinator. He is the _worst_ at putting his dishes in the sink and actually washing them. He doesn’t organize his school stuff enough so he’s always losing papers and frantically looking for them. Sometimes his protective instincts are nice, but when they’re in the grocery store and Derek growls at people for getting too close or if their carts almost run into each other it’s more than annoying. Stiles existed as an omega without major issue for years before Derek. He can handle a wayward shopping cart, someone invading his personal space or dealing with people brushing up against him in the halls between classes.

But still, none of those things make Derek a bad person.

Stiles wasn’t all that excited at the idea of going all of Christmas break without spending time with his boyfriend. And as it is, Stiles would rather hang out at one of their houses instead of a coffee shop somewhere. So logically, Stiles was going to meet Derek’s family.

Stiles leans up and presses a quick kiss to Derek’s lips and smiles before snuggling back down into Derek’s chest.

“I’m sure.”

They lay there together, Derek rumbling happily and Stiles melting into his embrace. But eventually they get up and Derek orders them some food. Stiles does the dishes in his sink and tidies his apartment so it’s clean when they leave in the morning. Derek helps him start packing and then the food is there. Stiles just sits on the couch and pulls up Netflix so they can continue watching Friends. It’s only a moment before Derek is handing Stiles a container of his favorite dish from his favorite Thai place.

As he steals glances at Derek between bites of his meal, Stiles can’t help but wonder if it’s too soon to tell Derek he loves him.

Then Derek catches Stiles watching him. He just smiles, brings a hand to hold Stiles’ face and presses the lightest of kisses to Stiles’ lips.

Huh.

He must already know.


	2. A Series of Heats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little relationship development as viewed through a series of the boys' heats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so with heats and things there's a couple 'dubious consent' bits to this but it's never malicious, if you want/need more of an explanation for the warning see the end note please :) 
> 
> I once told myself I'd never write something with A/B/O dynamics or mpreg and yet, here I am.

>>>><<<< 

Given enough time, Stiles gets curious.

And isn't that a sentence that describes his whole life in a neat little package? Basically since their heart to heart over their soup dinner Stiles has wondered about what Derek's heats are like.

So naturally one day over break where they're alone in the Stilinski house Stiles brings it up.

They're trying a new position. And by position Stiles means a page from the Cuddle Sutra that he got from his quietly supportive, extremely pleased father. Stiles is flat on his back, an arm around Derek's shoulders. While Derek is on his side, face tucked into Stiles’ neck/collarbone area and legs pulled up so Stiles' can lay across them. He's not quite sure how they managed to position themselves on the average sized couch but Stiles isn't complaining at all about the closeness. It's warm and cozy and Stiles is still riding the high of excitement and happiness from the last few days spent with family and those friends that are basically family.

So naturally, apropos of nothing in particular Stiles blurts it out.

"What are your heats like?"

He expects Derek to stiffen at the odd question. Or maybe just at how they're watching Home Alone and the query is kind of out of nowhere. But true to Derek form he has neither, what Stiles would classify as normal reactions. He doesn’t even lift his face from where it’s pressed into Stiles’ chest, he just shifts slightly so his mouth is angled away enough to speak clearly.

“Well, alpha heats are nothing like what an average omega heat is like. It’s shorter, for one thing, only about three maybe four days long. And we don’t really go out of our mind with the need for sex. Sure, sex feels pretty great during heat, and things might be a little hazy around the beginning but it’s actually pretty manageable. We have a cabin, my family does, for use during our heats. Everybody has a separate room they go to when it’s their ‘week’. In theory we wouldn’t have to have it, mostly because we’re all alphas or betas, but since we’re werewolves it’s best to keep all those smells and pheromones in a place separate than where we live day to day.”

“So what, it’s just three days of orgasms constantly or what?” Stiles asks smirking when Derek swats at his side playfully at Stiles’ bluntness.

“ _No,_ ” Derek retorts emphatically. “It’s three days of being keyed up and oozing pheromones. I probably only come once, maybe twice a day and mostly it’s what puts me to sleep.”

Stiles hums thoughtfully and continues to drag his fingers through Derek’s soft hair as they return their attention to the TV. After the movie is over and the credits are rolling for the mandatory 16 seconds before the next movie beings to play on Netflix, Stiles asks the question he’s been mulling over.

“So can I be there?”

This time Derek does go tense and pull up out of the cuddle to look at Stiles with no small amount of apprehension.

“Two things. First, are you sure? And second, at the risk of sounding incredibly juvenile, can I ask my mom first? I’ve never gone through a heat with an omega around, I don’t know how it’s going to affect me and I’m not risking hurting you because I lose control.”

“First, I am sure. And second, yes, please, ask your mom for advice. But, know that I trust you and I trust myself to know my own limits. I think.”

Derek gives him a look and Stiles knows he’s unimpressed with the way Stiles went from confident to less than confident. The thing is, Stiles doesn’t know how he’s going to react to it. Sex doesn’t gross him out. He has a healthy libido and has found very creative ways to enjoy it without trying to force himself to fantasize about other people joining in on the action. And he’s curious; he wants to both be there for his alpha boyfriend while he’s in heat and he wants to see what it’s like for Derek. He wants to know how Derek deals with arousal.

Stiles may not be sexually attracted to him but that doesn’t mean Derek isn’t beautiful. And Stiles can’t help but think that Derek will be just as appealing visually as he’s experiencing that much pleasure.

Derek makes Stiles explain all that, and eventually after consulting with his alpha (the werewolf kind), Derek agrees to let Stiles be with him. He allows it on the condition that if Stiles starts to be affected by Derek he will leave or lock himself in one of the bedrooms until it passes, and the same goes for Derek if he thinks he’ll lose control.

They go into it prepared. They spend over an hour at the grocery store stocking up on things Derek likes to eat and things Stiles knows how to cook. Derek digs out his box of toys that really only see use twice a year. But they still stop by the drugstore for lube and condoms. Stiles disappears in the store and flatly refuses to let Derek see what he picked out and bought.

He does the same thing to Derek in the adult store.

And Target.

But finally they’re ready to go to the Hale cabin and wait for Derek’s heat to start. Other than the change in scenery, it’s really not that much different than the rest of break. They cook together, eat their meal and then move things to the couch to cuddle and watch something together. This time they both have their laptops up and running as they sit pressed together. Derek is doing his pre-semester reading and Stiles is reworking a part of his thesis.

When they’re ready for bed, Derek kisses Stiles sweetly and says, “That’s an extra room for you.”

Stiles gives him an incredulous look.

“Are you serious right now?”

Derek’s face sure looks serious.

“I don’t want to do something in my sleep if my heat comes on before I can wake up and-“

“And nothing. We’re sleeping in the same bed Derek. We’ll build a pillow wall if that makes you feel better.”

Derek nods with far more gravity than the situation calls for. Stiles isn’t about to let himself be touched in any way he doesn’t want. Like Derek said that first time they went out, Stiles isn’t a pushover.

So Derek steers them towards his bedroom instead and they get ready for bed together. They brush their teeth side by side in the bathroom, Stiles takes his allergy medicine, and Derek does a few yoga stretches. Then they’re crawling into bed, three pillows making a clear wall between them. They lay facing each other and Stiles pouts at Derek from across the divide but Derek is unmoved.

“I let you stay in the same room with me, this is my limit, Stiles. We keep the pillow wall.”

Stiles huffs and leans over to press a goodnight kiss to Derek’s lips before rolling over and trying to fall asleep.

**

They almost make it through breakfast. But then Stiles looks up from licking syrup from his fingers to see Derek blushing and staring resolutely at his plate. Huh. Stiles finishes his meal without saying anything but after the dishes are done Derek’s starting to look a little…tense.

Stiles doesn’t know how to just say, ‘do you want to go jerk off?’ because that makes it sound like Derek’s going to just take care of it alone and Stiles doesn’t want that. Stiles wants to _be_ there. He wants to _almost_ be an active participant. He’s not sure he’s ready to see Derek’s dick, but he is sure he wants to watch Derek’s body in general. So Stiles does something he rarely does, he uses his actions instead of his words.

It’s still mid-morning so the cabin is relatively dim which Stiles is grateful for. He doesn’t know if he’d have the same nerve if it was bright in the room. Instead, he pulls Derek by the hand through the living room back towards the bedroom. With the curtains half closed and the small amount of light filtering in through the door the room feels smaller, more intimate than even the night before.

Stiles doesn’t give Derek a chance to say anything before he’s lifting one of Derek’s hands to his lips and pressing a barely there kiss to his palm before he gently tugs at Derek’s shirt sleeve. Derek helps and pulls his arm back and Stiles lifts the shirt so it’s half off Derek’s body, resting gathered on his shoulder. He does the same to Derek’s other sleeve and before he can pull the shirt off completely leans in to kiss Derek chastely on the lips.

Derek doesn’t push for more, just takes what Stiles gives him, eye lashes fluttering on his cheeks when Stiles pulls away to ease the shirt over Derek’s head and completely off. Stiles can feel how affected Derek is against his hip but he’s surprisingly okay. He knows Derek’s dick isn’t going anywhere near him.

Derek’s sweats are easier to get off, mainly because they’re loose and only being held up by the drawstring at his waist. Once Stiles un-does the knot they fall to the ground and all Derek has to do is step out of them.

“I don’t know what all you need,” Stiles whispers and Derek’s eyes snap open again to look at Stiles instead of the floor, pupils blown wide as his nostrils flare. “You’ll have to get whatever you want to use this time but I’d like to try and stay. I just want to be here.”

Derek shudders but nods and Stiles pecks his cheek with a quick kiss before he’s going to the bed. Stiles thought about how he wanted to do this and he hopes Derek’s okay with the plan he never shared. Derek goes to his box and gets a few things but Stiles doesn’t really care what Derek does to his dick. At least, this time he doesn’t.

Stiles gets himself comfortable at the head of the bed, a pillow against his stomach and his phone out of his pocket but still within reach on the night stand. He only sees the desperate expression on Derek’s face when he turns back towards the bed and Stiles just pats at the pillow. He takes the hint and crawls up the bed to rest his head on the pillow against Stiles.

Stiles’ intentions were to watch. He was just going to watch Derek’s beautiful face and when it was all over Stiles was going to ask him questions. He is still himself after all, terrifying and exhilarating new sexual experiences notwithstanding.

But Derek’s _face_ as he finds so much pleasure in what he’s doing just- Stiles can’t help it.

“What’s it feel like?” he whispers, dragging his fingers lightly across Derek’s forehead pushing his hair away from his face.

Derek’s eyes stay closed but he mumbles, “Intense,” and Stiles nods even though Derek can’t see him.

“Makes sense,” he murmurs quietly back, captivated by the way Derek’s face changes and shifts and shows exactly what he’s feeling.

Stiles moves his hand from playing with Derek’s hair to dragging down the side of his neck, across his shoulder before he repeats the action on the other side.

“S-Stiles,” Derek stutters, eyes opening to stare in something close to wonder up at Stiles.

“Shh,” Stiles shushes him and puts his hand flat on Derek’s chest, just under his collarbones.

“Do you need me to stop?” he asks but Derek shakes his head, eyes shut again.

With his hand on Derek’s chest Stiles keeps dragging his fingers across his warm skin in a steady pattern until Derek’s breath is hitching and his face goes open before his eyes close and his whole body relaxes. Stiles knows Derek just came but he can’t help but curl up around Derek’s head as he starts snoring and falls asleep himself.

The next three days pass in a similar manner. Except for that Stiles gets a little more involved in the subsequent rounds. Having Derek use the special warming lube he bought. He makes him wear the shirt Stiles bought and while wearing it had jerked off in the bathroom long after Derek had fallen asleep and Stiles had gotten hard.

It had been an enlightening experience to say the least, but Stiles remained unchanged. Not that he’d wanted to be there for Derek’s heat to see if that would ‘fix him.’ He didn’t need fixing. He’d just wanted to see that side of Derek and that’s what he got to do.

>>>><<<< 

When it's time for Stiles’ first heat while dating Derek, Derek approaches it in a manner completely opposite of how Stiles approached Derek's. Instead of tentatively asking, Derek literally waltzed into Stiles' apartment a week after Valentine's Day to announce his plan.

"You're heat is in a week and I'm going to be here with you. I already cleared it with my mom and my professors; I'm not going to miss any class and my mom is getting me some suppressants just in case I'm more affected by your pheromones than I'm anticipating."

Stiles had opened his mouth to argue before he snapped it shut and huffed as he took in Derek's posture and the look on his face that didn't encourage argument.

"There's no use trying to convince you otherwise, is there?"

Derek had shaken his head and Stiles resigned himself to the fact that Derek would be there for his heat no matter what. Not that he was truly resigned; he wanted Derek there. He just had wanted to ask or be asked instead of ordered. Chalking it up to Derek having protective alpha urges Stiles just went with it.

Yesterday they went grocery shopping, buying very specific things Stiles knows don't bother him during his heat when he's so over sensitive. Fresh vegetables and fruits. Derek wouldn't buy anything but the best cuts of meat so there's beef and pork steaks and roasts in Stiles’ fridge and freezer. Not to mention the fresh whole chicken and the thick cut bacon. Stiles is going to feast all week long.

He doesn't really know what to expect for this heat. One, he's never spent it with another person, let alone an alpha boyfriend. Two, he's been having more and more days where he gets aroused really out of nowhere. Three, with the stress from finishing school and all that entails he doesn't know if it's going to make him more sensitive or have more dramatic mood swings or what will happen.

Where Derek had seemed resolved and determined when he announced that he'd be with Stiles for his heat, when it actually arrives he seems just as nervous as Stiles. Of course he's still happy, that quiet grin gracing his features as Stiles lets him in the apartment. But while Derek is outwardly nervous, Stiles is feeling more…unsettled than anything else.

But in the face of getting to experience his first accompanied heat, he pushes it away.

It’s only just started so they settle on the couch, much like they did with Derek’s. Two episodes into watching The Office, Stiles’ stomach starts to rumble. Derek hears it obviously and turns to him.

“I’ll go make something to eat you just sit here, okay?”

Stiles nods and Derek kisses his forehead.

It takes a lot for Stiles not to huff petulantly, cross his arms and pout. “You just sit here” and forehead kisses? Does Derek think Stiles is that fragile? Like, yeah he’s a little more emotionally vulnerable right now but it’s not like he’s going to break if he cooks himself something to eat. Twenty minutes later and the sounds of Derek cooking have been joined by the smell of their meal. But even from his spot on the couch Stiles’ eyes start to water and he stands to walk towards the kitchen.

Derek meets him halfway, ready to usher Stiles back to the couch as he approaches him with a chiding expression and outstretched arms to stop Stiles.

“I’ve got it under control, it’ll just be a few more minutes.”

“I’m not eating whatever you made,” Stiles snaps and Derek looks taken aback, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“Why not?” he asks harshly.

“Because the spices are literally making my eyes water from the living room,” Stiles explains gesturing to his face. He lifts a hand to hold it under his nose because it’s starting to burn.

“Get rid of it. Take it to your apartment and eat it or throw it out just get it out of my apartment,” Stiles says a little angrily but really his eyes are starting to hurt and he’s sure he’s not going to be able to taste anything now.

Derek’s eyes flicker red for a moment and Stiles realizes he just ordered his alpha to do something. He has about half a second where he feels bad and then he’s back to being annoyed. Derek doesn’t say anything as he turns and stomps into the kitchen only to return moments later with a large container full of pasta and chicken. As he slams the door behind himself to take the food to his own apartment Stiles rushes into the kitchen to wash the dishes and start cooking something else.

Derek comes back barely a minute later and there’s a line of tension in his shoulders that wasn’t there before, his mouth turned down in angry frustration. The emotions he’s projecting aren’t helping anything with Stiles’ mental state at the moment, only serving to make him angrier in turn and a little guilty for making Derek upset in the first place.

Luckily Stiles is able to quickly pull something else together making it just the way he knows he likes it. Half an hour later he and Derek sit down to eat at the table across from each other but neither one is angry anymore. Stiles is back to being just slightly unsettled and Derek just looks confused.

After the dishes are done and they seem to be back on even ground, Stiles lets himself be pulled back to the couch. He knows Derek’s trying to make it up to him, if his determined, remorseful expression is anything to judge by so Stiles rolls with it, happy to let Derek make amends.

Everything is good for a while. Stiles is in front of Derek using Derek’s bicep for a pillow as they lay spooned up close to each other on the couch. It takes a few episodes of Elementary before things start to go wrong again. It starts slowly, Derek just goes from holding Stiles to rubbing his hand up and down Stiles’ side.

It’s annoying more than anything but Stiles doesn’t tense up just deals with it, hoping Derek will stop eventually. A few minutes later he does stop but then he puts his hand splayed out and warm on Stiles’ stomach. He leaves it still but then he starts to nuzzle into Stiles’ neck. It’s not, it’s not bad it just isn’t what Stiles wants. But, he thinks, it’s what Derek wants, and if he’s spending his heat with a partner he has to think about their needs too right? So he tilts his head back a little and lets Derek nuzzle.

He thought he made the right decision when Derek makes a happy little noise. But instead of being happy with what Stiles gave him, Derek is just taking _more._ He starts whispering these stupid little things. Things like, beautiful, such a good omega, so soft, so perfect. And then he does tense up, not relaxing even when Derek shushes him like he’s going to convince Stiles he is all those things. But Stiles doesn’t want convincing he wants Derek to stop. He hates hearing those kinds of things because it’s the kind of thing that alpha’s always whisper to omegas in movies before taking them to bed for sex.

He’s wound so tightly he almost falls off the couch when Derek stops talking and starts pressing kisses to Stiles’ neck. It takes a minute but Stiles feels like he’s in familiar ground again and he relaxes fractionally. But then he keeps kissing and suddenly Stiles can feel Derek getting hard behind him and it’s all just too much.

“Stop,” he practically sobs and when Derek jerks back Stiles runs from the room.

He sprints to his bathroom, tearing off his clothes as he jumps in the shower, he has to wash away this feeling. The feeling of Derek wanting him, wanting something he’ll never be able to give him.

He sits down after scrubbing his whole body down with his normal body wash even though it makes his skin turn pink from the harsh chemicals and the too warm water. He lets the water run over him as he tries to think. He just doesn’t understand why this is happening, why he’s having this reaction.

He loves Derek. And he trusts him. Why has he been so uncomfortable having Derek here for his heat?

He thinks and lets his brain run in circles until there’s a knock on the door. He only takes a moment to consider not letting Derek in before calling out to do just the opposite. He’s glad Derek doesn’t rush in, coming slowly through the door instead and sitting next to the tub, just outside the curtain from where Stiles is sitting. Stiles reaches up and pushes the curtain open enough to see Derek's remorseful expression. Stiles offers his hand and looks forward again. It only takes a few seconds before Derek takes a hold of his hand, gripping it gently.

“I’m sorry for not asking to be here. And I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, I’d never- I never want something like this to happen again,” he admits tearfully and Stiles feels tears start to prickle at his own eyes.

“If you need me to leave,” he offers sounding a little steadier after a breath and squeezing Stiles’ hand, “I will. But I need you to know I didn’t mean for it to be this way; I was nervous about doing something wrong and now I’ve done everything wrong. I don’t know why I’m so bad at this right now but I will leave if that makes this easier for you.”

Stiles shakes his head a little panicky at the idea of Derek leaving.

This time when Derek shushes him Stiles doesn’t think it’s patronizing at all.

“If I leave it doesn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change how I feel about you, how much I love you, I’m not saying leave as in leave this relationship just leave the apartment.”

Stiles sighs with no small amount of relief at that and something settles in his chest. That off kilter feeling he’s had since a week ago dissipating with Derek’s apology. He feels better already but things will probably go a bit better if Stiles just tells Derek what he’d like from him.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he starts, “I think we were both nervous and we got off on the wrong foot. I, um, wouldn’t complain if you helped me out of here. I’d take help toweling off and getting some pajamas on. I’d also like it if we just laid together in my bed to watch something. Um, you can hold me but, uh, nothing more, just um, holding me.”

Derek nods and Stiles reaches up to turn the water off while Derek grabs a towel. He’s shaking as he steps out of the tub and Derek frowns.

“You’re cold?”

Stiles nods, teeth chattering as it hits him in a strong wave just how cold he really is from the water. Derek’s frown doesn’t go away until Stiles has been gently dried off and wrapped up in another warm, dry towel for the walk to the bedroom. Stiles goes pliantly, trusting Derek without reservation now that they’ve cleared the air between them.

“Can you get one of your shirts? And my pair of yoga pants?” Stiles requests and Derek nods before moving towards the drawer in their dresser that Stiles keeps all of the clothes he usually saves for heat week. Derek comes back with the exact clothes Stiles was expecting plus a pair of boxer briefs and some fuzzy socks. Derek unwraps Stiles from the towel and helps him step into the underwear first. Then he slips the shirt over Stiles’ head then follows by putting on the pants. Then he sits Stiles down on the edge of the bed and gently rolls the socks on Stiles feet, spending a moment massaging them just for good measure.

As Stiles slides himself back on the bed he notices Derek’s hesitancy and smiles gently.

“Lay next to me with your arm around my shoulders while we watch a show on the iPad.”

It feels a little wrong to give such a blatant order to his alpha but seeing the relief and confidence on Derek’s face at having been given a clear instruction is worth it. Derek grabs the iPad and an extra blanket before crawling into the bed and pressing himself along Stiles’ side just like Stiles wanted. He settles an arm around Stiles and they settle in to watch something.

Stiles picks Brooklyn 99 and they end up making it through the entire first season before Stiles is ready to take a nap. His head is resting on Derek’s chest and when the last episode ends he looks up waiting for Derek to notice.

Of course, Derek is still being incredibly attentive so he simply locks the iPad and puts it on the nightstand before looking down at Stiles expectantly.

“We’re going to nap now if that’s okay. I’d be okay if you want to put your arm around my waist and leave it there.”

Derek nods and presses a quick reflexive kiss to Stiles’ forehead before they’re rolling over. Derek’s willingness to follow Stiles’ instructions, to stay within his boundaries goes a long way in letting Stiles relax back into him and fall into a comfortable doze. It wasn’t the best start to a heat he’s ever had but he’s proud of himself for working through it instead of doing something he wasn’t comfortable with or sending Derek away.

Besides, he and Derek are going to have a lot of chances to get it right. At least, Stiles is hoping Derek is in this for the long haul because Stiles would have no problems being with Derek for the rest of his life. They’ve had their little issues, Stiles insecurity being the main one, but if Derek’s ability to roll with the punches and work to fix his mistakes or Stiles’ misconceptions about himself stays the way it is Stiles has a lot of confidence in a future for them.

As he drops off to sleep he can’t help but hope for that future with Derek.

>>>><<<< 

"Heat bonds?!" Derek yells to be heard over the sirens coming from the fire truck he's currently in being driven towards a huge apartment fire. Being driven away from his boyfriend whose heat just started and apparently even though they'd only been together for a couple hours they'd already bonded.

Heat bonded.

"It's not like I knew this would happen! This partnered heat thing is still new to me too!”

Derek’s irritation fades right back into worry hearing Stiles’ tight voice. Whether it’s tight from pain or tears Derek can’t tell and finds he suddenly hates being a firefighter. If he wasn’t one, he wouldn’t have had to leave in the middle of feeding Stiles’ dinner as they settled into the first few hours of the second heat they’d ever spent together.

“Stiles,” Derek whines through the phone, “I’m coming back, okay? Hell, I’ll walk back if I have to.”

Boyd gives a look half like he’s crazy and half pity. But what does he know? He and Erica are both betas, they’ve never gone through heat before in their lives.

“No, Derek just, just don’t worry about me okay?” Stiles says sounding very much like he’s putting on a brave face for his alpha. “They need you otherwise they wouldn’t have called you in after you requested heat leave. Dude, if there are people that could be saved by you being there, I’m willing to put up with a little discomfort.”

The thing is, Derek knows Stiles is right. He’d asked not to be on call or work for the next week because of Stiles’ heat and technically his department could get in a whole heap of legal trouble for calling him in. But the huge apartment complex on the edge of the forest had started on fire and quickly spread from a single apartment to the entire complex. And basically, every firefighter in the county has been called in to help make sure everyone gets out safely and the fire doesn’t spread into the Preserve. They wouldn’t have called Derek if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.

“I don’t have to like it,” Derek says with a scowl, “but I’ll stay. You just call me if it gets worse, okay?”

“Yeah, Derek I promise,” he hears Stiles softly respond and he just _knows_ it’s a lie. Stiles won’t call and distract him from the work. Derek resigns himself to the nagging ache at the back of his scull that feels like someone slipped a fishhook there and is tugging on it, a constant pull towards Stiles, and that it won’t cease until he gets back to Stiles’ side.

“I love you, Stiles,” Derek says as quietly as he can while still being heard over the sound of the truck.

“I love you too, alpha,” Stiles responds and Derek groans when the call disconnects right after. Stiles really only uses the title during this week. It’s some part of the heat slowing down Stiles’ normally rapid thoughts and loosening normally tight control on his omega instincts. Truly Derek doesn’t mind either way, he loves Stiles for who he is, not what he is. Derek sighs and slips his phone back into his pocket as the truck pulls up to the fire. It should just be a few hours and then he can go home, shower and crawl back into bed with Stiles.

This is the third heat of Stiles’ they’ve gone through together, putting them at just over two years of a relationship. They’ve gotten their degrees and jobs they love back in Beacon Hills. They share an apartment in their hometown which is a little surprising to Derek. He’d never envisioned himself settling so close to his parents but it makes sense to have done it this way. Stiles’ dad being by himself in town wasn’t an option for Stiles and when they both got jobs they were looking for it followed that they’d live in Beacon Hills. And all in all he doesn’t see too much of his family this way either; they’re close enough for weekly dinners but far enough across town that they don’t see each other every day of the week.

Stiles has accompanied Derek for his heats but since that first time he’s stayed in a separate room while Derek gets himself off. After the rough start to the first of Stiles’ heats they spent together things could really only improve. Derek got better at asking what Stiles wanted or needed and it got easier for Stiles to tell Derek if things are bothering him. The second time around went much better that way. They basically spent a week in pajamas and cuddling in various places and positions. Stiles taught Derek more recipes that aren’t too spicy or harsh but were still delicious.

This heat was supposed to go like that again. It was supposed to be relaxing and romantic and Derek was going to try and find a moment to ask Stiles to marry him. He was _not_ supposed to get called away to a fire for an unknown amount of time. And he wasn’t supposed to leave Stiles in their apartment suffering from a stretched heat bond.

Derek stumbles back into Stiles’ apartment untold hours later feeling very much like he’d been hit by the fire truck instead of driving it back to the station. He’d chosen to stay away from Stiles for just a little while longer so he could shower off and change into fresh clothes. Even through his exhaustion he knew how bad it would be for him to show up to Stiles’ heat smelling so strongly of fire and ash.

But as he makes his way through the door, paying special attention to get it locked behind himself, it hits him that he isn’t just tired from working the fire. The closer he gets to Stiles the more sharply the pain radiates throughout his body. It’s strange to experience such a lingering pain that clouds his thoughts and makes him sluggish.

He shuffles down the hall and he’s bothered by how quietly and slowly Stiles’ heart is beating in the bedroom. It isn’t until he gets in the room and sees Stiles lying there, pale and motionless, that it registers in his slowly moving brain what’s happening.

They’ve stretched and possibly broken their bond completely.

A wave of pain washes over him and when he feels the bed beneath his hands while he crawls towards Stiles he knows he’s feeling Stiles’ pain too now. Lying there on the soft sheets and blankets, tucking himself up next to Stiles should be the most comfortable thing in the world. Especially after exerting himself at the fire as much as he did. But he feels all wrong in his own skin, like an itch he can’t place or scratch properly.

Distantly he knows he flops down on the bed, jostling Stiles' still motionless form. A whine starts in the back of his throat that Derek can't do anything to stop. There are too many instincts running haywire in the moment and he doesn't have the strength to curb them into something sensible. One of his arms is laid gently across Stiles' chest as he tucks his face into Stiles’ neck.

He doesn’t know how long he lays there, snuffling behind Stiles’ ear and listening to himself rumble deep in his chest. It’s a subconscious attempt at comfort that he hopes is at least partially affective. Another wave of pain crashes over him this one only slightly duller than the last but it manages to mildly bring him back into focus.

It’s enough for him to fumble for his phone, the part of his brain that’s still working aware that they need help. Stiles could very well be comatose at this point and Derek has no way to know what kind of damage has been done. Even if he did he’s in no position help Stiles or himself get better. His instincts are screaming at him to make it better so he does the one thing he knows can help them.

He calls his mom.

It takes a lot of focus to get his phone screen unlocked because his claws are out and he doesn’t have the energy to shift back. Time goes kind of fuzzy because he doesn’t really remember the phone ringing at all but then his mom’s voice is in his ear.

“Derek? Derek, say something you’re freaking me out, kid,” she’s saying and Derek would laugh if he could manage it.

“Mom,” it comes out a hoarse whisper and he thinks distantly that that alone is going to worry her.

“Need your help.”

“Where are you.”

It’s not a question, it’s a demand for an answer coming through the line just like Derek was in the room with her, seeing her eyes flare alpha red in a blatant show of authority. It makes it easier to answer if he’s being honest.

“The apartment.”

“Okay, keep talking sweetheart. Tell me what’s happening. I’m on my way I promise.”

Derek knows she’s on her way, he could hear things rustling in the background and then heard her car door slam shut and an engine roar to life.

She’s driving dad’s car then; she’ll be here soon.

The comfort that thought gives him makes it easier to think. He just needs to explain and stay awake long enough for her to get to the apartment and then he can pass out. He trusts his mom to take care of him.

“’was a fire,” he slurs knowing his mom will get the gist, “had to leave Stiles’ heat, heat bond, had to go though, they…they called me in. Bad fire, I had to go help.”

He has to take a deep heaving breath through the pain and effort of talking. But then he has his mom’s voice still in his ear coaxing more of an explanation out of him, praising him for doing so well in telling her what’s happened so far.

Once he feels like he’s got his breath back he tries to listen to her question.

“Derek, answer me. How long were you gone? How long were you separated from Stiles?”

“Long time, hours, not sure ‘xactly, things were…were fuzzy, ma.”

“Okay, that’s okay,” she soothes over the phone and there’s something he’s missing, something standing between her getting to him as fast as possible.

The door.

“Mom, door’s locked. I can’t, can’t leave Stiles again. You won’t be able to get in.”

“Shh, Derek, I’d break down the door to get to you, you know that sweetie,” she says to calm him back down. “I had your dad call Stiles’ father and they’re both meeting me at your building.”

Derek sighs and lets himself relax ever so slightly. His parents are on the way, Stiles’ dad is coming to help, and Stiles’ heart is still beating strong enough beneath Derek’s ear so he’s okay. He’s still uncomfortable and confused and in a mild amount of pain, but for the moment he’ll be okay.

**

Talia and Andrew Hale are waiting outside his son’s apartment when John gets off the elevator. John brought Melissa with him; her talents as a nurse more than likely will come in handy given the situation. John hadn’t known this was possible with Stiles’ heats being so pointedly non-sexual. He casts no judgements on his son. He’s well aware that it is not by choice that his son has these feelings.

But he didn’t know heat bonds happened when the sex didn’t. Talia’s leg is shaking in her impatience and John quickly pulls up his spare key to Stiles’ apartment door.

It feels like a crowd of people rushing through the door but John allows himself to be swept along towards his son. It’s jarring to see the condition their boys are in.

Stiles is motionless, unnaturally pale and his hair is plastered to his forehead from the sweat. Derek is in a similar state; he’s barely conscious, eyes hooded with exhaustion, he’s shifted into his beta form and is curled around Stiles as much as he can while still being atop the covers. The parents rush forward, each to the respective sides of the bed.

For as much as he wants to hold his son’s hand and find and feel his pulse for himself he lets Melissa do it instead. She’s the medical professional that needs to be the one to bring his son back from this. Stiles has fought through a lot in his life already, John isn’t worried about his son’s ability to get himself through this.

Talia looks like john feels as she watches her husband gently pry Derek away from Stiles to talk him into explaining anything else he can manage while examining him. John is grateful like he hasn’t been before that he’s so intimately connected with talented doctors and nurses. Granted, Andrew is a pediatrician but still, Derek’s just an overgrown kid in their eyes at the moment anyway.

Soon Andrew and Melissa are spouting orders that John and Talia are quick to follow. First they have to strip Stiles down to his boxers and towel off the lingering sweat. Then they get the blanket out from under Derek’s body and undress him similarly. Talia helps Derek shuffle closer again and John is pleased to see the boy relax ever so slightly at all the skin to skin touching. Melissa and Talia throw a light sheet across the two of them and then Talia is taking first watch in the desk chair at the foot of the bed.

Melissa gets him and Andrew out into the kitchen where they start to plan how best to take care of the boys. With the damaged bond they’re going to need as much contact as possible which means food and water brought to them as well as anything else they may need. Melissa takes the time to assure John that Stiles is going to be okay, his body essitially shut itself down like a deep, deep sleep while he waited for his alpha to come back.

It’s not an unheard of reaction apparently. It happens when omegas are so trusting in their alphas, and there’s already a strong bond outside of heat, that they allow themselves to become even more vulnerable in sleep to wait out their alpha. Given the way Derek couldn’t help himself from whispering to Stiles reassurances and apologies John has no doubt Stiles’ subconscious will soon realize his alpha is back to take care of him.

Not that waiting for that to happen is any fun.

John wants to rant and yell and throw words like ‘lawsuit’ and ‘facing charges’ around to get his point across. The fire department should have never called Derek in. it was both a discrimination against his omega partner and an abuse of his status as a werewolf. John knows they could have gotten people from another county’s department. But why have outside human firefighters when you can abuse the in-house werewolf one?

He’s brought from his musings by a light touch from Melissa on his arm.

“They’re going to be okay,” she assures him softly.

He nods for a moment, laying his hand over hers where it still sits on his forearm.

“I’ll just feel a lot better when my son starts talking again.”

Melissa smirks knowingly; she’s known his son for almost as long as he’s been alive. They both are familiar with the fact that a babbling Stiles is an okay Stiles.

After a moment John steps away from her and she goes to settle on the couch with Andrew. John fills a glass of water for himself and walks back into his son’s bedroom. It’s his turn to watch over their boys. Talia smiles when he enters the room.

“Stiles’ heart picked up a little a few minutes ago, I think what we’re doing is helping.”

John sighs a little in relief. Skin on skin contact, cooling Stiles’ body temperature and keeping Derek calm and rehydrated after his hours fighting the apartment fire were simple enough tactics. But they were all things neither of their sons was in the condition of performing for themselves.

“I’ll take over if you want to take a break,” John offers, grateful for the way Talia doesn’t hesitate to stand from the chair as she nods.

“That’d be fine. I’m going to send Andrew and Melissa home; I think the two of us can manage.”

John nods as he sits and resists the urge to reach out and hold his son’s hand. Even though it’s only been a few hours since he first saw him John can already see a difference. There’s more color in Stiles’ face, his breathing less shallow. John allows himself to relax back into the chair as the door shuts behind Talia.

He checks his phone and responds to a few messages from his deputies as he sits in the quiet bedroom. It’s another half an hour before anything changes. It’s almost startling to look from Stiles’ face to Derek’s and see Derek’s eyes open.

John’s uncomfortable with the wary look on the boy’s face. He stands, hovering over his own son, and reaches out unsure if his touch is welcome in the moment. Derek makes an abortive movement away from Stiles and John and John can’t have that. He pulls his hands back, splaying them open in a sign of surrender.

“Sorry,” Derek slurs out even as he cuddles in closer to Stiles’ side.

John shakes his head when Derek opens his eyes and looks at him again apprehensively.

“Kid, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“’left him,” Derek admits sounding pained.

“You were ordered away, there’s a difference. Your chief made the wrong call doing that, not you.”

Derek shakes his head slightly, burrowing even closer protectively; John just doesn’t know if it’s to protect Stiles or himself.

“You’re angry,” he says quietly, sounding more coherent the more time passes.

“Not at you. I know how hard it must have been to feel like you needed to ask your mom for help with this. I’m proud you didn’t try and push through on your own, I’m proud you could ask for help when you definitely needed and deserved it.”

Derek seems to regard him for a long moment before deciding to trust John is telling the truth.

They’ve had a good relationship, John thinks. Stiles brought Derek home over his last Christmas break at school and the boys have been together since then. He’s known Talia Hale as an acquaintance for years, what with him being in law enforcement and Talia being one of the most prominent lawyers in the city. But beyond a professional relationship they’d never interacted. Once Stiles got folded into the Hale family John got brought right along for the ride.

It’s been nice to go over for dinner nearly once a week with Stiles and Derek and the rest of the Hale children home for family time. It had been over a decade of Stiles and John facing the world just the two of them and when Stiles went to college his house just got that much quieter. He spent a lot of time missing his wife and trying not to take advantage of all of Melissa’s free time.

He and Melissa have had a solid friendship since the boys made it to high school. They both traded lacrosse game duties and hosting study nights back and forth given their tendency to have their already long shifts extended. John was the first one to bring take out to her when he got off work and she was still in for another few hours. But it soon became a weekly ritual. Whichever one got out of work first on Friday picked up supper for the other. It was great when the boys went off to school forty minutes away to have standing, recurring plans with someone that wasn’t one of his deputies.

But getting pulled into the Hale crowd has been just as great. Derek treats his son the way Stiles deserves to be treated in a relationship. He was inordinately relieved when Stiles came home and told him he was dating an alpha that didn’t want to have sex with him. Well, not exactly phrased like that but still. From the moment Stiles explained his aversion to the activity John has worried about his future relationships. Not that finding someone like Derek would be impossible but that for every good person out there willing to respect an omega there’s five that won’t.

John has zero problems with his son being in a serious relationship with Derek Hale.

It’s what makes it easy to sit back and relax into the chair as the man snuggles his son while they sleep. Derek seems to have fallen back to sleep and Stiles looks better and better the more time passes and John finally has some confidence both boys will come away from this unscathed. When John had gotten the call that he was needed at his son’s apartment for an unknown emergency his mind has been going a million miles an hour in a million different directions at once. But now his panic has been soothed and he’s content to pull up a game of solitaire while he waits.

**

When Derek wakes up he knows Stiles is going to be okay. It’s just an instinctual response but when he finds the strength to pull himself up and look down at Stiles he can see what his body was telling him is true. Stiles’ face is slack with sleep, a natural sleep, spots of pink risen to the tops of his cheeks and he’s snoring ever so softly. Derek grins down at his boyfriend and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek before he turns himself over so he’s lying on his back next to him instead of hovering over him.

Once he’s comfortable and has laced his fingers through Stiles’ he looks around the room and sees a few differences since he crashed hours and hours ago. His mom is there, sitting in the chair neither Derek nor Stiles ever use, reading a book and sipping at a cup of Starbucks coffee. There’s a pile of pillows and a giant comforter that Derek thinks are from his parents’ house sitting next to the bed that Derek is super grateful for.

He already knows just what he’s going to do with them.

It takes another hour of rest before Stiles wakes up. And it’s another half an hour of getting water and food into Stiles slowly before they can get out of the bed. Derek basically carries him into the bathroom to shower while his mom changes the sheets on the bed and John is cooking something more substantial in the kitchen. Derek takes his time lathering up the special soap Stiles uses during his heat week on the bath sponge before running it all over Stiles’ body. It satisfies something deep inside of him to be able to care for his boyfriend so intimately. Stiles returns the attention by washing Derek’s hair while Derek washes the rest of himself.

After they’re dried off and redressed in clean sweats and t-shirts Derek is ready to collapse into sleep once again. He’s exhausted from the fire, the issues with the bond and the worry about Stiles being okay. Derek fusses over Stiles for a little while, getting him propped up against the headboard with the extra pillows. Once Stiles is settled Derek gets the bottle of Stiles’ favorite lotion, their cell phones and the iPad before he crawls back into bed. He drags the extra comforter over the bed and presses himself right next to Stiles, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

Once they’ve settled the door opens slowly and John comes in with a tray of food.

“Dad?” Stiles asks sounding confused.

“Hey, kid,” John says with a smile as he puts the food on the foot of the bed and walks around the side to run his fingers through Stiles’ hair gently.

“You called my dad for help?” Stiles asks turning to Derek sounding as though he’d be impressed if that was true.

“I called my mom, she called your dad,” Derek admits but Stiles still smiles softly at him before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Derek’s cheek making him blush.

Sue him, he’s a little emotionally fragile himself after the day’s events.

“I’m just here to see if you need anything else otherwise I’m going to head out.”

Derek shakes his head and Stiles does the same.

“I think we’re more than okay, I feel mostly normal now and Derek’s here,” he says, patting at Derek’s thigh as if to reassure himself of that. “As long as nobody makes him leave again I think we’re going to be just fine.”

“Nobody will be bothering you except to maybe bring you some more groceries,” John says a little annoyed in the beginning but his expression softens as he brushes Stiles’ hair from his forehead and places a quick kiss there. He pulls back and Derek sees all the love and concern and worry John has for his son written all over his face. Derek hopes one day he has a kid to love as much as he and Stiles have been loved by their parents. He hopes he can have a good enough relationship that even when they’re in their late twenties they can still call him for help.

John leaves after that but Talia comes in the room as he walks out.

“I’m leaving too, if that’s okay? I have a feeling you’re more than ready to spend some quality time together uninterrupted.”

Stiles blushes as he nods in assent but Derek has one more thing for her to do before she leaves.

“Mom, can you pull his pain. I tried in the shower but I’m not quite rested enough yet, I couldn’t do it.”

His mom gives him an awfully fond look as she crosses the room to Stiles’ side of the bed.

“You don’t have to,” Stiles offers but Derek gently takes his hand and passes it to his mom’s grip.

“I know I don’t, honey,” she responds kindly and then Derek watches her veins run black as she pulls the last bit of achiness out of Stiles’ system.

When she’s finished she bids them goodbye and then the apartment is blissfully quiet except for the sounds of their hearts beating. Stiles sighs and Derek puts his arm around his shoulders, gently nudging Stiles until he rests his head against him.

“Are you really okay?”

Stiles nods against him, body relaxing further into Derek’s space.

“You’re here, there’s food,” he says gesturing to the tray weakly, “your mom did the pain sucky thing and there’s all these extra pillows. Like I told my dad, as long as you don’t have to go anywhere for a while I’m going to be just fine.”

Derek nods and just takes a moment to breathe in relief. After a few moments he pulls away and crawls off the bed. He helps Stiles get out from under the blanket once again and then passes him the tray so he can eat at his own pace. Derek settles at the foot of the bed and grabs the bottle of lotion. He spends a few long minutes giving Stiles a foot massage. Stiles gives him a look as he starts but something on his face must be enough of an explanation.

When he’s done he puts a pair of socks on for him and crawls back up the bed next to Stiles. He’s so tired again and Stiles must feel the same because Derek hears him lean over the bed and place the tray on the floor before he curls into Derek’s side and throws a blanket over the both of them.

“Love you,” Derek mumbles and he feels Stiles’ smile against his shoulder before he presses a kiss there, backing away only far enough to answer quietly.

“I love you too, Derek.”

>>>><<<< 

Stiles wakes up sweaty and achy and…confused. This is far from his first heat with Derek. But it is his first heat with Derek as his husband. Things had been fairly normal for the first couple of days of this particular one. But then things had started getting, kind of, fuzzy. Derek had been working in his office, only for a couple of hours, and this wasn’t feeling like a stretched heat bond. It had felt like he was inexplicably getting warmer. For all that he experiences heats he’s never been overheated during one.

So he’d moved from the couch to the bed, stripping his clothes off as he went. It’s more a surprise than anything when he collapses naked on the bed and feels his cock is hard and trapped between his stomach and the soft sheets. He groans in frustration as his hips undulate against the mattress even as his thoughts grow slower.

He’d fallen asleep within moments.

Only now he’s awake and utterly confused. Derek is tucked up behind him, arms wrapped snuggly around Stiles’ chest and his chest pressed so close to Stiles’ back Stiles can feel the racing of his heart. Derek is hard against his ass and Stiles realizes absently that he is too but he still feels sated and comfortable for some reason.

Then he shifts his hips. Derek’s grip tightens infinitesimally and Stiles freezes again as he feels something in his ass.

“It’s your vibrator,” Derek says through gritted teeth and Stiles is suddenly overwhelmed with all the emotions coming off of his alpha. Derek’s arousal is probably the last thing that’s on his mind at the moment because his anxiety and discomfort and unhappiness are rolling over Stiles in waves.

“What? When did that happen?” he asks, bewildered and feeling clearer headed as each moment passes.

“Oh I don’t know,” Derek says as sarcastically as Stiles has ever heard him, “maybe it happened right after you started sobbing about feeling empty and that you’d leave me if I didn’t, and I’m quoting you here, ‘fill me up, alpha.’”

Stiles feels his whole body flush hot and he turns his head into his pillow.

“I said that?” he whispers mortified that his recent fantasy of sleeping with his husband apparently happened while he was delirious.

“I know you didn’t mean it,” Derek answers quietly and sounding pained. “That you didn’t want me actually to…but you were so _upset_ , god I’m so sorry, I just didn’t know what I was supposed to _do._ ”

Stiles is the worst.

He thought he’d be able to get through this heat and get a better understanding of his shifting feelings before having to explain them to Derek. But now he knows he has to. His husband probably thinks his actions were unwanted at best. At the worst, his love thinks he’s molested Stiles in some way.

“Derek, it’s okay-“ Stiles starts before getting cut off.

“It’s not okay, Stiles,” Derek cried, “you were in no state to give consent and I didn’t know what to do I just wanted you to stop crying and I had to-“

“Derek stop,” Stiles says over him finally, unwilling to let him remain so upset any longer. “This is so embarrassing but I promise you, what you did wasn’t unwanted. Look I-“ he groans in humiliation but forges on. “I’ve been thinking about you fucking me, okay? I just, whoa.”

Stiles has to stop his explanation as Derek rolls them so Stiles is on his back and Derek is pressed atop him, forearms bracketing Stiles’ head. Stiles is horrified to find tear tracks on Derek’s face, his werewolf healing doing nothing to mend the red, puffiness of his eyes.

“Oh love,” Stiles enthuses quietly as he reaches up to brush away the tears from Derek’s cheeks. “I’m sorry, please believe me I’m not mad, I’m not, you didn’t hurt me or do anything I didn’t want subconsciously. Look, I’ve been, thinking things and feeling things but I didn’t want to talk to you about it until I was more sure. I mean, when we got together you talked about how sometimes once people experience a deep emotional connection they start to experience sexual attraction. So I told myself, I wasn’t going to try and force myself to change but I still wanted to be open to the change should it happen. I thought we could get through this heat and then I’d be able to tell you maybe before the next one. I promise I wasn’t keeping this from you for a long time or anything-“

Derek cuts him off by pressing a remarkably tender kiss to his lips given their current state of undress and arousal. Derek lets himself put more of his weight on Stiles as he sags in relief, his head falling to rest on Stiles’ shoulder as he takes a couple deep breaths.

“You really freaked me out, Stiles,” Derek admits, “You really don’t remember what happened?”

Stiles takes a moment to think as he runs his fingers through Derek’s hair. Now that he’s a bit more coherent he remembers a lot. He flushes again, feeling his whole body warm in embarrassment.

“Bits and pieces,” he mumbles and Derek picks his head up, taking in the self-conscious expression on Stiles’ face.

“It was hot,” Derek blurts again, blushing himself. “If I hadn’t been freaking out about possibly bad touching my own husband it would have been hot.”

Derek rolls them again, throwing the comforter over them both when Stiles’ skin goosepebbles.

“Explain now please,” Derek orders softly, “I’m not mad you didn’t tell me but I need to know what’s going through your head right now because that was kind of terrifying.”

Stiles sighs because this is not how he wanted this to go.

“This is not how I wanted this to go. It’s going to come out so poorly. I need time to prepare Derek, you know I do. I was going to practice this so it all came out right and now I’m just going to wing it. You know that never works well for me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind and not jump to any conclusions if you misspeak, okay? Now get talking.”

Stiles can’t help but smile indulgently when Derek taps his ass playfully.

“Okay, here’s the thing. I love you right? And I trust you. And, like, I still get aroused,” he says rolling the ‘r’s in the word and waggling his eyebrows because he can’t not. “We’ve talked about that and like, shared tips for dealing with it by ourselves. But when we started planning the wedding I found myself thinking more and more frequently about what it would be like if you were there with me while I did those things. And then that shifted to thoughts of you getting me off and then one time I was trying out that, uh, new dildo and I found myself thinking about what _you’d_ feel like instead.”

Stiles’ face is burning hot as he blushes but Derek isn’t laughing at him he’s just looking gob smacked.

“And then we got married and I just kept seeing _babies_ everywhere. Like, _everywhere._ One day I’m shopping in Target and this woman just passes her kid over to me and the next I can’t stop thinking about having a kid. Scott and Allison are pregnant, so are Erica and Boyd. I just- it kind of added fuel to the fire.”

Derek now looks like Stiles hit him over the head with a 2 by 4. This is why Stiles wanted to have a practiced speech. They haven’t had the ‘kids conversation’ since before they were even engaged. And Stiles’ feelings on the matter changed even before his tendency to be sexually attracted to his husband. He’d always feared being a parent but going home to his dad having temporary custody of a child brought it up in conversation. His dad had looked at him like he was stupid claiming, ‘no matter what you believe of yourself, I believe you’d make a great father. Especially considering the homes foster kids are taken out of or kids stuck in orphanages.’ His dad claimed that even if he wasn’t the best parent, being there for a child could still be better than their current situation.

It had given Stiles something to think about, but it was still something he was ruminating on. He hadn’t known how to bring it up to Derek. And now he’s brought it up in the middle of a heat with a vibrator stuck up his butt and Derek half traumatized.

“You want to have kids?” Derek chokes out.

Stiles sighs and drops his head back into his pillow more fully.

“Yes. I want to try. I don’t necessarily want to get pregnant during this heat in particular but…” Stiles shrugs and Derek’s eyes look like they’re about to bug out of his skull. “Maybe we have a conversation when we’re not about to possibly have sex for the first time and we discuss all our options.”

“We’re going to have sex right now?” Derek asks, voice high and shocked.

Stiles rolls his eyes and pushes Derek off him so he’s lying flat and staring in wonder at the ceiling.

Stiles goes to lay on his side with his head propped in his hand so he can look down at Derek but it’s weird having something inside him when he moves.

“Hang on,” he mutters before taking the toy out slowly and dropping it on the floor next to the bed.

Now he’s comfortable rolling towards Derek, pressing himself all along his side and throwing a leg over Derek’s. He uses the hand not holding his head up to trace his fingers over Derek’s chest, crinkling the dark hair as he does.

“Okay, I know this is a lot to take in. I’m going to put some clothes on again and if I get another wave of heat delirium I give you full permission to use one of our toys until I can think again okay?”

Derek groans and Stiles realizes that probably didn’t help the overload of information Derek is currently experiencing. He pats Derek’s chest and gets off the bed. There’s slick on his thighs and Stiles wrinkles his nose at the feeling, choosing to jump in the shower quickly before dressing himself. When he gets out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist, Derek’s sitting at the foot of the bed wearing sweatpants but still shirtless. He’s got his head in his hands and Stiles dresses quickly and sits next to him.

“Hey,” Stiles says softly and Derek reaches out to hold on of his hands. “I am sorry for all this.”

“The day you stop surprising me is the day pigs will fly, Stiles.”

“And that’s a…”Stiles hedges.

“Good thing, yeah,” Derek finishes with a quiet laugh and wraps an arm around Stiles shoulders, pulling him closer, firmly into his side.

“What now?” Stiles asks quietly after a moment.

“Well, I have some questions, just to ah, clear the air. Just, go over it again.”

Stiles nods and Derek takes a deep breath.

“So, your feelings on sex have changed.”

“Yes.”

"But you realized this because of your own thoughts right, it wasn't because I was, pressuring you or anything?"

"No, absolutely not, you've never pressured me to do anything I don't want to. At least, outside of washing dishes by hand."

Derek snorts and tightens his arm around Stiles before he continues.

“Okay that's...reassuring. So you’d like to have sex with me some day.”

“Correct.”

“You’d even consider having kids at some point.”

“Yes. I’m still not completely sold on the whole being pregnant thing but the idea of having kids with you is definitely appealing.”

Stiles feels Derek nod silently and he pulls out of the embrace a little to look up at Derek’s face. He’s half surprised to see tears welling up in Derek’s eyes. Only half surprised because Derek has started to share some of Stiles’ symptoms he experiences during heats, being more emotionally volatile as one of them.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Stiles tries to sooth and Derek laughs even as the tears fall.

“I’m happy, Stiles. I’m just really happy.”

Stiles sighs in relief and Derek pulls them both back onto the bed and wraps himself around Stiles’ body. Stiles ends up flat on his back with Derek curled around him both relaxed and content. Stiles runs his fingers through Derek’s hair and it’s only a moment before he’s happily rumbling in his chest.

“You _are_ happy,” Stiles says on a laugh making Derek grumble.

“I’m always happy with you. But this, knowing we could have a family outside just the two of us has me so excited you don’t even know. I know you said not this heat but, god, Stiles, I’d start trying to have kids with you yesterday.”

Stiles just smiles and lets Derek’s words roll over him as he soaks it all in.

“The rational part of my brain knows not to make such a big decision in the middle of your heat, in the heat of the moment; no that was not intended.”

“I love you Derek. We have like, two days of this heat left, max, and then we can have a ‘non heat of the moment discussion’ okay?”

“Yeah,” Derek sighs into Stiles’ chest where his face is buried. “Love you too.”

Stiles lays there holding his husband in his arms, letting his feelings of curiosity grow once again. Only this time it’s about things different than his or Derek’s heats. Now he’s thinking about what it would be like to be a parent. He’s thinking about all the research he can look over again about how pregnancy would go. He’s curious to know how Derek will look holding a baby, teaching them to walk, to shift into their beta form if they end up a werewolf. He pictures sitting with his kids coloring or painting or reading books together.

All in all, it makes for a pretty great picture of his future, of their future.

He’s curious how long it will take for them to get there.

>>>><<<<

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The biggest thing to warn you about is in Stiles' first heat they don't really lay down any boundaries and Stiles gets uncomfortable with Derek touching him. Then in the last part Stiles experiences a heat with a bit more delirium and Derek has to help him get something inside him so he calms down. Derek is upset and Stiles is okay because he trusts Derek enough automatically do what's best for him. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you enjoyed part 2!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think and come find me on [Tumblr](http://acountrygirlsfun.tumblr.com) pretty please.  
> Messages or asks or comments have the power to make my day every time :)


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